Sounds neat
By danii - 05/10/2011 03:28 - Reserved
By danii - 05/10/2011 03:28 - Reserved
By forever dog-less - 22/12/2018 04:00
By Fitz - 29/07/2013 06:30 - United States
By fucking_worthless_loser - 08/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Concord
By killingmyselfimmediately - 07/01/2019 20:00
By socks - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By dumbass724 - 13/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Brampton
By Lala - 08/12/2015 08:30 - United States - Denver
By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 12:00
By shadowmuppet - 01/04/2017 02:00 - United States - Bronx
By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage
By Just keep the pins - 25/12/2016 17:50 - Sweden - Floda
By wowgranny - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Tooele
By JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue
By FailedSalesman - 17/12/2016 17:39 - United States - Lewisville
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By emmamrose7 - 15/08/2014 03:36 - United States - Vista
By urinetrouble - 04/05/2017 12:00 - Canada - Hamilton
By marcranger - 11/08/2014 23:40 - United States - Denver
By educatedreptile - 09/12/2016 16:21 - Canada - Yorkton
By whiskey'swino - 09/06/2019 14:19
By Bd Grndp - 05/05/2022 14:00
By Murphs_Law - 16/11/2016 06:37 - United States
By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 04:04 - United States
hey everyone. I'm the ball kicker. To clear up a few things. 1-how i kicked his balls: My foot was halfway off the ground and i was bumped into causing me to stumble and landing my foot in his crotch. 2-why he went to the e.r: I was wearing steel toe boots (hindsight, not a good idea. but i had to go to work after class and i drop things on my feet alot and i work in a storage area. shit is heavy) 3-why i couldn't stop myself from kicking him: I have no answer for this. It was a horrible moment and I have yet to stop saying sorry. 4-how he is doing: there was no major damage to the actual testicles, but his inner thigh is bruised. In other words, he's fine. 5-he does forgive me and we went our first date the other night. and 6-about the asshole who ran into me: karma. thanks for all the advice, comments and other stuff that was said. Some of you guys are hilarious and it makes me feel better for the horrible incident.
By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00
By needagoodlaugh - 10/11/2016 01:58 - United States - West Linn
By anonymus - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto
By Anonymous - 12/09/2015 06:42 - United States - San Francisco
By Username - 14/07/2019 20:00
By ShowerGirl - 30/04/2013 07:54 - United States
Keywords
Hey all, OP here! Glad to see I made some of you laugh...I wish I could say the same about my cousin, his wife, and my aunt and uncle (the proud first-time grandparents)! At least my dad, who I was staying with for this event (I live up in the mountains, but this was in Denver), laughed his ass off when everyone else was out of earshot and said he honestly felt the same way (and since I was a baby once...thanks, Dad?). Oh, well. At the very least, I think the new parents will avoid me like the plague at future gatherings, even ones specifically planned to honor the new addition (oops), and this might get my relatives to back off about when exactly I'm making my own contribution to the family line.