The Top

Yes, we did all get to retake the exam. Our principal called the College Board and told them what happened, and they said we could either skip the section in the now sealed book wait until the next testing date. We decided to wait and took a different version of the test. And the second time our school counselor proctored so there were no problems! So moral of the story, if something the test proctor is telling you seems wrong, SPEAK UP.

Wrench in the works

By bluskyz1979 - 17/05/2016 15:32 - United States - Cypress

Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 672

You deserved it 1 041

By I write sins not other people's essays - 12/05/2016 03:13 - United States - King George

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 110

You deserved it 1 066

By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk - 25/06/2018 15:00

Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 200

You deserved it 237

By unmarried - 04/05/2016 00:39 - Canada - Weston

Today, my fiancé received his divorce papers. Thanks to his procrastinating, his divorce is effective May 29th. We're supposed to get married on May 28th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 416

You deserved it 5 340

By Sting - 26/04/2016 20:49 - United States - Manassas

Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 474

You deserved it 1 024

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 22:00

Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 100

You deserved it 281

By Completely Fed Up - 20/04/2016 18:55 - United States - Spokane

Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 448

You deserved it 1 548

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 19:28 - United States

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 249

You deserved it 14 284

Really?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Pulaski

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 699

You deserved it 5 766

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 3 303

By ouchy - 15/09/2018 03:30 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, my wife and I got back from our cruise ship holiday. It was intended to be ten nights of relaxation and romance. The first five nights she had her period, and the next five nights I had painful welts on my tip from the mess in my swim shorts. Ten days later, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 095

You deserved it 464

That's one way to start the weekend

By Monkey - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 718

You deserved it 3 091

By bluhbluhbluh - 06/10/2018 22:11

Today, I was informed that I had to repeat a freshman course that I aced because of a glitch in the system. I'm a senior now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 633

You deserved it 194

bluhbluhbluh tells us more.

bluhbluhbluh 14

Friday 5 October 2018 20:20

it's college. I tried to work it out so that I only did the exams but they rejected my request. about four months of doing paperwork and trying to solve the problem down the drain. :/

By ClumsyDumbsy - 14/10/2018 05:00 - Australia

Today, after two months of lab research, I finally had a day off. I decided to treat myself to gourmet sun-dried tomatoes, as well as some fresh pasta for dinner. I split the entire pot of boiling water down my body and spent nearly 7 hours at the hospital. I also vomited the tomatoes up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 392

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 19:02 - United States - North Scituate

Today, I found a picture of my ex with a new boyfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't break up with me because she was lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 478

You deserved it 1 878

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 434

You deserved it 3 143

By FailingMyCourse - 07/02/2016 03:36 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 204

You deserved it 27 350

That old chestnut

By foreveralone - 24/09/2012 23:12 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 839

You deserved it 23 557

Freaked out

By notmycircus - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Cincinnati

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group I've being go to after the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 353

You deserved it 2 737

By Awie - 20/10/2011 08:26 - Austria

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 368

You deserved it 19 895

Mr Heckles

By soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Cornwall

Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 265

You deserved it 8 873

Foot, meet mouth

By Anonymous - 20/01/2016 02:51 - United States - Mission

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 526

You deserved it 22 687

By Cannachick - 17/07/2019 02:00

Today, I found out how messed up I am when a guy held a knife to my throat and it turned me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 473

By ardea_alba - 01/01/2016 20:27 - Russian Federation - Yekaterinburg

Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 892

You deserved it 2 299

ardea_alba tells us more.

ardea_alba 8

Sunday 3 January 2016 19:11

OP here: I'm a work-from-home mom and devoted wife :) We share bank accounts, mails, FB profiles (yes, we're one of those couples) and anything else you could think of...He knows how my phone works and what features it has better than myself, so to sum up - no, there is absolutely no reason he would think that except the fact that I am the first relationship he hasn't cheated in, so I guess it's true what they say - 'you assume for others what you're capable of yourself' :) cheers to all,

By linzi1771 - 15/12/2018 14:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, in front of my friends, my mom came after me with a pair of tweezers exclaiming, "There's just a couple of hairs on your chin that need to be plucked." I'm a 14 year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 617

You deserved it 365