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Hey everyone.. Just to let you know, he's 36 and I'm 29. I moved in for about two weeks but found I couldn't handle it. We've broken up and to be honest, I'm kind of glad this all happened; it helped me work out that he was all wrong for me.

By newlydumped - 21/09/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 653

You deserved it 64 568

Nurture vs. Nature

By Anonymous - 12/08/2022 22:00

Today, and since forever, my boyfriend has a twin brother. His girlfriend is now pregnant and he was ecstatic. I'm also pregnant but my boyfriend is acting like it’s the end of the world, and has been either drunk or hungover since I told him. So much for twins being alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 356

Average Metallica fan

By UglyMetalGirl - 09/06/2025 00:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, the guy I like posted a story that said, “Why can’t a girl who’s into metal be into me?” Deciding to shoot my shot, I replied, “I’m a girl who’s into metal, wassup cutie?” He deleted it and posted a new one: “Why can’t an ATTRACTIVE girl who’s into metal be into me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 124

Golden child

By Lennell - 24/08/2022 02:00

Today it's my twin brother's and my birthday, and like every year people wish him a happy birthday instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 117

By Daniel - 27/06/2010 07:43 - United States

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 686

You deserved it 3 961

School of hard knocks

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 10:00

Today, I'm 23 years-old and most of the people in my grade who I went to highschool with are taking vacations every month with their rich and supportive parents or their significant others. Some of them have never worked a job. I have to work every day just to make rent, and cut off my judgemental unsupportive family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 232

Major FOMO

By dan - 14/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I learned my most recent ex-girlfriend is dating my previous ex-girlfriend who also broke my heart back then. I also learned that they both sometimes have threesomes with a man. I wanted to experiment by adding another woman when I was with each of them, but they always said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 549

By me - 12/03/2012 02:49 - United States

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 134

You deserved it 3 601

Hotdesking sucks

By Bowerbird74 - 30/08/2022 12:00 - Bulgaria

Today, it was a new co-worker's first day, and yet again management told them to use the room I always use, and I yet again had to relocate my stuff to accommodate the newbie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 145

But… why?

By Anonymous - 17/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my relationship of over a decade ended very badly and suddenly. He asked for one last favor and I agreed… before realizing it meant I had to go to the church where we'd always planned to marry. Thanks for the final stake to the heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 201

By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 083

You deserved it 6 150

Young love

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is actually going on holiday over Christmas with some girl he met in a bar. He’s barely known her a week and is already dipping into his savings to keep her happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 167

Brown out

By crap - 24/02/2014 04:01 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 979

You deserved it 3 241

By Yup - 13/06/2010 07:48 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 195

You deserved it 3 576

House hunting

By ohboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 638

You deserved it 21 725

Buyer's market

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 00:01

Today, I found out that my childhood vacation home was on sale for 149K. We sold it for 99K 9 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 240

By diplomaless - 14/09/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 511

You deserved it 19 645

Skin deep

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 00:15 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, I find out why my long term boyfriend hasn't been interested in sex for the last three months. It’s because I’m "fat." While I could probably lose a few, I'm not obese and I'm the one who's encouraging healthy eating and exercise in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 403

Which show is it?

By Not Riverdale - 26/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spoiled a TV show I've seen that a friend has started binge-watching by saying, “Episode 7 really did my head in.” His face turned from excitement to annoyance, and has vowed revenge, saying, "Great, I'm going to be anticipating episode 7 for the next few hours thanks to you, stop talking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 456

Travelling light

By maddengirl12 - 20/02/2014 08:57 - United States

Today, my mom and I flew three hours from Wyoming to a volleyball camp in Kentucky. When we arrived, we went to the volleyball center and told them I was there for the volleyball camp. They told me it had been cancelled two weeks ago and they forgot to call us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 563

You deserved it 4 004

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 541

You deserved it 39 058

By Anonymous - 07/05/2011 05:58 - Canada

Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 053

You deserved it 9 002

Mothman is real

By NOT THE BEES...oh - 30/08/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, there's a moth in my house, who either does nothing, or flies around like it just ate enough sugar for one lifetime. Every time I see it, I think it's a wasp and, being deathly afraid of them, I go into a full-blown panic attack until the sight of it bumping into light bulbs brings me back to reality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 396

Financial control

By Brando - 01/09/2022 06:00

Today, I woke up to a video call from my entitled father, who was fuming and yelling at me for buying a PS5. With MY money. I don't even live with him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 104

Third wheel

By Anonymous - 01/07/2025 00:00 - France - Marseille

Today, I figured out why the guy I secretly love became so friendly with me. It appears that we became friends so that he could get closer to my very best friend and flirt with her. They’re now happily together and my best friend tells me all day long about him, and how they made out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 131

By anon - 16/02/2014 12:56 - Australia - Kingston

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 521

You deserved it 20 205

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The Top

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wanted to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 742

You deserved it 6 582

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 724

You deserved it 18 577

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 7 580

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 690

You deserved it 36 248

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 491

You deserved it 12 239

Today, I woke up and got ready for class. I let the dogs outside while I got ready, then brought them back in. As I was putting my shoes on, I felt something warm and mushy. One of my dogs had pooped in my shoe right as I was leaving. I missed the city bus and was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 197