By ElizaZee - 19/09/2013 01:45 - United States - Malvern
The Top
ElizaZee tells us more.
By frustrated! - 06/02/2013 06:01 - United States
Stolen valor
By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 06:58 - Canada
Help!
By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States
Snoopy
By Anonymous - 07/08/2009 02:10 - United States
By Annebelle - 14/05/2009 18:09 - United States
By afraid of flying too - 24/06/2013 23:24 - Canada - Fort Saint John
By Anonymous - 24/10/2013 21:26 - Canada - Calgary
By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda
Fight Club
By x_o - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Hungary - Öttevény
By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States
By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States
Owned
By thanksjill - 10/03/2009 22:51 - United States
Stuck in neutral
By Anonymous - 08/07/2009 15:24 - United States
By tinfoilnirvana - 30/04/2009 00:42 - United States
Sooner or later, you're gonna listen to Ralph Nader
By AJL - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States
Busted
By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France
By Nicoli - 10/11/2011 18:22 - United States
By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 03:03 - Korea Republic of
By jezusflowers - 07/05/2009 02:26 - United States
By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada
By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont
Perv!
By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of
By offendedfemme - 26/08/2009 02:16 - United States
Oooooooh!
By only my life - 22/04/2014 22:21 - United States - Concord
By TrophyGirlfriend - 17/08/2009 05:43 - United States
By Palindromesque - 04/09/2013 09:07 - United States - Seattle
Palindromesque tells us more.
Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously! To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them. We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in future...no cross contamination, she promises. Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.
By itsnotyouitsher - 09/03/2013 06:16 - Australia - Wahroonga
Not a good sign
By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 21:06 - Canada - Windsor
By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville
Keywords
Hi, I'm the OP. Anyway, from what we've pieced together based on the accounts of family and friends, his girlfriend stayed with him for five years because she was a gold digger. My brother is fairly rich, and he always gave her expensive jewelry because he loved her so much. She would always wear the jewelry, but then it would mysteriously disappear after a few months. We suspect she was selling it, and basically using him. Also, we didn't think she stayed faithful to him, but he never listened. I guess she was off loving another man while my brother was unsuspectingly giving her jewelry that she could then sell. In other words, she's a bitch, and it's a good thing overall that she said no.