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Pet this!

By shando - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 893

You deserved it 3 639

Ew, dude

By HaleyIsabelle - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 531

You deserved it 3 731

How about…

By username - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Elkhart

Today, my father told me to "go get a job." He has been unemployed for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 144

You deserved it 3 302

Desperate times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered, "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 089

You deserved it 3 121

Are you kidding me?

By Stinky. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 966

You deserved it 2 797

Ouchies

By bucktooth - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 741

You deserved it 2 715

Dissed

By Nick - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Philippines

Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute to realize that it was me they were making fun of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 682

You deserved it 21 778

Confused

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Niles

Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 230

You deserved it 1 748

Thanks…

By Emily - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 595

You deserved it 17 075

Harsh but fair

By Shianna - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Holden

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 310

You deserved it 13 839

Are we nearly there?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 263

You deserved it 1 625

Wild mood swings

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 072

You deserved it 28 304

Coulda, shoulda, woulda

By DeathbyWording - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Vernon

Today, my doctor said I "might" have an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat. It "could" be seriously life-threatening and I "should" go to a specialist for further tests. My insurance refuses to cover my consultation with the specialist because the doctor's wording is too uncertain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 719

You deserved it 1 339

Bye bye baby

By OhCanada - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my downstairs neighbor is single, clever and incredibly hot, while the upstairs neighbor is loud and obnoxious, not to mention a creep. I silently prayed every day for my neighbor to leave the building, and today, my prayer was answered: my neighbor moved out. Guess which one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 393

Bit of a sore loser

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I’m divorcing my husband. Not because he plays video games, but because he lost a round and wrecked the living room for the second time in six months. He broke the TV, slammed his PS5 into the ground, and threw his $400 gaming chair through the sliding glass door into the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 64

The Wrong Decision

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason my ex-husband suddenly became so horrible and abusive was because he had a brain tumor that altered his personality. Now that he's had it removed, he's back to his old self. I feel like I'm living in a real-life Lifetime movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 85

Unexpected

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my stepdaughter unexpectedly got her first period during a visit. I explained everything to her, then took her to the store to buy supplies and snacks. Her mother called and cussed me out for “stealing” this experience from her. Yeah I totally planned it to happen this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 47

A whole mess

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I parked at the airport and rushed inside. TSA pulled me into a back room for screening, including a rectal exam, then let me go, but I missed my flight. Back at my car, there was a note on the windshield: “I know what you did, John. Lock your doors next time.” (My name isn't John) and I found a pile of shit on my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 88

This is war!

By Help - 26/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 57

No dice

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Calera

Today, I interviewed with a company 5 times over the course of 7 weeks. It was going really well and although not my dream job, it would provide a step up for my family. I got the offer letter at 1 PM! As I’m reading it, I realize it’s actually addressed to the other finalist. Sent to me, not for me. Offer rescinded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 50

Should I stay or should I go?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and said it was a shame that two handsome guys across the room were gay, because real men like that were perfect for marrying and having babies with. She has let me know many times she does not want to marry or have babies. Guess it’s just me she doesn’t want them with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 87

Meritocracy ain't shit

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Henrico

Today, I was a manager of a store for 12 years and I'd had an agreement with the owner that I was to be signed over as full manager until I could buy the store… and then he goes to sell it to a kid I'd fired. I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 67

Diversity hire

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, on my second shift at my job, I was fired for “ruining the communication of coworkers” AKA I don’t speak Spanish. This was known before I was hired and I live in California. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 72

It's the new sensation sweeping the nation

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I came home to see five teens, my kitchen counters covered in an assortment of greens and berries, and a camera. They were filming themselves stuffing their faces for what they called the “leaky butt challenge”, trying to see if any of them caught the bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 93

Turn the other cheek

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 435

Eager beaver

By TiePrior988 - 24/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I had my first job interview in ages. I went in early, but instead of anyone telling me, they waited for the manager to come and get mad at me because it was supposed to be an online interview. I apologized and we went ahead with the interview, but she seemed disinterested and annoyed. I don’t think I got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 76

What is this?

By Not my dog - 23/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I paid extra for priority shipping because I desperately needed my package before the weekend. It arrived on time. It was the wrong package. I'm now the proud owner of a dog raincoat. As in a raincoat for dogs. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 69

Such a pity

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really tried to talk to my wife how I feel that she hates me and is with me out of pity. She denied it all but by the end of the conversation mentioned she wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 113

Mixed signals

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 25/07/2026 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, and every day this week, my youngest daughter has been telling me about all the new friends she's been making and playing with at school. Her kindergarten teacher explained that when she misbehaves too much, they have been sending her to the other kindergarten class. This isn't the first punishment she's interpreted as a reward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 85

Germs

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I finally put away two weeks worth of clean laundry, only to get to the bottom of the pile and find mice droppings. I now have to wash my whole wardrobe, bed linen, and towels with disinfectant (On top of sanitising my furniture and floors). FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 134

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The Top

Today, after talking to the man whose car I scratched, we agreed that the damages and cost of repair were so low and instead of me paying I just buy him coffee. When I showed up he saw me, decided I was too ugly to have coffee with, and instead demanded full payment in cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 221

You deserved it 1 418

Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 619

You deserved it 1 796

Today, I realized I need a new job. This happened when I was seriously considering ways to break my leg so I could stay at home for a day and not have to deal with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 807

You deserved it 3 298

Today, I finally landed a new job, and thinking he would be proud, I told my boyfriend. Instead of congratulating me, he got mad that my work hours include Saturday, his laundry day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 114

You deserved it 4 249

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 292

You deserved it 7 745

Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 142