The Top

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It's the Final Countdown

By Mightytall - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a very long wait at the doctor's. The three plastic plants in the waiting area have 163 leaves each, the patient information poster on the wall has 127 words, the longest word has 19 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 239

Not gonna happen

By notahotel - 10/06/2026 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my parents are calling me a spoilt brat and threatening to disown me if I don't let my sister, her six kids, and freshly out of jail boyfriend move into the house I spent 10 years working my ass off to buy without having a mortgage. Sis said I can sleep on the lounge as long as I pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 63

A whole load of mess

By ChocolateEverywhere - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while I was at work, my kids had the great idea to make chocolate milk. My husband had the great idea not to clean up the chocolate mix the kids spilled, so the floor got covered in chocolate footprints. The cat then had the great idea to step in the mix, and cover everything else in chocolate paw prints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 177

You deserved it 589

Creepy

By Mrs. Awkward - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I helped an older guy with his safe deposit box. He said it was perfect for holding his ex-wife's remains and laughed. I laughed because I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 910

You deserved it 372

Decisions, decisions

By Which to choose? - 10/02/2026 22:00

Today, I realized I have two guys interested in me. One is a boring lump who has a good job and takes me to nice places, and the other is a hilarious hot sexy goofball who can't hold down a job and shamelessly mooches off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 579

Weird dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 783

You deserved it 314

Get out

By WhatDoIDo - 05/10/2025 12:00

Today, I could easily be any man's dream wife. I'm pretty, smart, devoted, earn well, cook great, keep a clean house, and raise amazing children… but I chose to marry an asshole who keeps hitting me for little to no reason. I'm too scared to raise my kids on my own in this world, or else I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 238

On my way!

By ButNotBed - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was told to be at a job site bright and early. I woke up and pounded several body smashing drinks to get going. They then called to tell me work was canceled due to weather. It's 6am. I can’t get back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 649

You deserved it 1 029

Don't make me choose

By Anonymous - 16/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I finally cracked and told my boyfriend that if he didn't sign full custody of his evil, manipulative 3 year-old daughter to her mother, then I would leave. He picked me up and literally threw me outside his apartment, slamming the door in my face when I tried to run back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 1 337

Please leave

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I went on my first date in over a year, and my best friend popped up at the restaurant uninvited. To make it worse, she pulled up a chair right in between us and started an argument with the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 364

You deserved it 248

Rock n roll star

By bandfuckup - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my band was playing its first serious gig. I was in the middle of a solo when a drunk guy tackled me, causing me to crash into the drums, breaking them and my guitar, hitting our drummer, knocking him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 474

You deserved it 413

Technique

By dumped - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 198

Disconnect

By Sad vegan girl - 15/08/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 334

Sitcom moment

By Stupid husband - 20/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 1 029

Imperial death march

By Fuck you dad - 05/01/2026 09:00

Today, my "president" invaded another country and stole their president to face bullshit "charges." I'm so disgusted to be from this place. I want to move somewhere else but I'm disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 431

Long time coming, probably

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 03:00

Today, to punish my wife for disrespecting me in front of my friends, I told her I wasn't going to help with the baby tonight. When I woke up, she and my baby were gone with nothing more than a text saying she was speaking to a divorce lawyer. Over one night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 1 612

Don't mind me

By Moon-chan - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 457

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my bitch mother informed me I have two weeks to find a new place to live. When I said she legally has to give me thirty days, she said she doesn’t because I refuse to pay rent as an adult. I have schizophrenia, obesity, and I’m not obligated to pay her rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 1 121

I'm a bad person

By Oops - 01/11/2025 00:00

Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 1 470

Grand-baby moment ruined

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 00:00

Today, I rushed to my son’s house, eager to meet my new grand-baby, who his annoying wife wouldn’t let me see at the hospital. Before I could even pick the baby up, his wife started freaking out that I “smelled like cigarettes” and threw me out because it was “bad for the baby.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 158

Dethroned short King

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was on a first date. I asked her what she brought to the table since I’m a pretty well established guy. A voice in the booth behind me yelled out, “How bout a booster seat, Smurf!” Everyone laughed so hard I got up and left. I’m 5ft3 and bitches always make it about my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 982

B-Baller

By awkwardballer - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing basketball with my new coworkers, I managed to get the ball stuck between the hoop and backboard. In trying to free it, I also got a traffic cone stuck and ended up having to drag a large ladder across the court while everyone watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 165

You deserved it 1 729

Toxic

By DontheRon - 26/03/2026 20:00

Today, I reported the girl I like’s new boyfriend to be trespassed from our workplace for being disruptive. I’m sick of him coming in and bringing her lunch and acting lovey dovey. My plan successfully worked, he is no longer welcome on the premises, but now half the office hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 1 236

Proud dad

By Not a proud dad - 08/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 80

What will people think?

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I turned down my boyfriend's proposal because I'm pregnant and I told him I didn't want people thinking that's why we were getting married. He… did not react well. Yes, he knows that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 680

Waste not, want not

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 15:00

Today, my boyfriend sent me a long text breaking up with me and calling me "selfish", all because I fed my dog half of the roast he made us for dinner. He knows damn well I feed her a raw diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 855

Level playing field

By Ughhh - 19/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 772

Run for the hills

By Ih8meself - 10/11/2025 03:00

Today, my fiance told me that if I don’t “get on Ozempic or some shit” by our honeymoon, he won’t consummate the marriage. Half an hour later he told me to make some breakfast because he was hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 147

I'll see you in court

By Goodbyefreeflights - 04/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got fired from my flight attendant job because I commented to a colleague how a passenger has the audacity to fly economy while sporting a huge Louis Vuitton duffle bag, and that it must be a replica bag. Apparently she was within earshot and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 980

Who's the boss?

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I don’t run my own company, my secretary does, by deliberately ignoring or changing my “little moments of idiocy.” I pulled her up on it so she showed me, in some detail, including documents I signed, proving that if she’d let me be in charge, I’d have gone bankrupt in 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 832

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he was whispering, he said, “So they can’t hear me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 75

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 689

You deserved it 8 840

Today, it's my best friend's birthday. It's also the first year I've had her gift purchased, wrapped and mailed on time. The post office lost the parcel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 442

You deserved it 1 940

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 012

You deserved it 7 338

Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 133

Today, I biked to work to save gas money and also to be as eco-friendly as I could. A freak April hailstorm pelted me so hard that my helmet cracked. Local news called it “just another Monday.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 119