Intimacy: Not now, Yoda

Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 812

You deserved it 8 816

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Same thing different taste

By thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 225

You deserved it 4 178

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 693

You deserved it 69 184

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 241

You deserved it 8 234

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 233

You deserved it 5 877

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 5 029

By Kwalker3 - 06/05/2012 06:39 - United States - Tracy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 442

You deserved it 4 163

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 108

You deserved it 4 268

By zamwow - 20/12/2013 23:36 - United States - Ridgefield Park

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 874

You deserved it 8 879

Don't mind me

By evelynn - 20/05/2010 06:25 - France

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 181

You deserved it 8 190

By anonymous - 08/12/2011 10:37 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 170

You deserved it 4 299

Serisent 26

Wednesday 10 April 2013 22:49

Well, you know what Yoda says: Do or do not, there is no try. Clearly, you did not.

Darkcamzy 10

Wednesday 10 April 2013 22:49

Doesn't Yoda just have the sexiest voice you have ever heard?

Comments

danidino96 8

Thursday 11 April 2013 19:18

You should have been even more happy! That is hysterical. I love it!

sig4life 18

Thursday 11 April 2013 23:07

'Smart and intelligent this one, is not' 'Not getting laid again, this one is. ' 'Insert today voices joke here'

ArmyWife092812 0

Friday 12 April 2013 11:24

Lmfao. I hope my husband never sees this.

nolefan 15

Monday 15 April 2013 3:31

are you dating a 9 year old?

ClaireTho 6

Monday 15 April 2013 6:18

Yup it'd be over after that.

Inked0803 12

Friday 26 April 2013 3:27

How could you not laugh? Lmfao

D3ATHZ3RO 15

Tuesday 7 May 2013 3:58

He's a keeper....not

Rocky_808 3

Wednesday 18 September 2013 15:02

This made my day (:

FrancesShiver 20

Sunday 13 April 2014 18:36

Laugh and clench because **** him (literally)

jimbob123456 13

Friday 4 July 2014 1:35

Keep him.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 678

You deserved it 9 113

Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 286

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 636

You deserved it 5 482

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 186

You deserved it 50 246

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 210

You deserved it 2 664

Today, as I struggle with dyscalculia, I set up some counters so I could knit up a perfect square. Turns out the counters actually made it worse. I have three failed attempts and I'm stuck on number 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 107