Nearly FMLs

By That girl - 14/09/2017 13:35 - United Kingdom

Two nights ago my boyfriend came over with all my stuff and broke up with me. We had just gotten back from vacation and I was even more in love with him before. All he could say was we just weren't right for each other.

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 14/09/2017 02:45 - United States

Today my mom posted all about my sister's birthday. it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 11

By Bryan - 14/09/2017 00:13

Today I was leaning against a wall, and felt a tickle on my neck. I thought it was my collar on my shirt, ended up being an ear wig, FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 6

By Gracie - 13/09/2017 23:56

Today, after thousands of dollars in medical tests trying to diagnose if the large black spot on my husbands bollocks was something serious what did it turn out to be, a giant ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 15

By Upset wife - 13/09/2017 23:29

Today as every day my husband fought with me again because i asked him to get a job , its been almost 3 years of marriage and he has never tried to get a job or contribute with money , im the only one making it and he dont even try, i cant do this anymore FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 50

By "CB1Fifty" - 13/09/2017 23:25

I got a snap from a fellow cop saying he made meth in a training class. I responded by taking a picture of me pissing. Instead of sending it to him, I accidentally posted it to my story saying "cool, I made a piss" & it got 30 views (mostly family & coworkers) before I caught my error and deleted it

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 79

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 20:01 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after several days of exercising and changing my diet, I felt pretty good about the progress I made. Until I found out I was unintentionally giving myself a cleanse, when I ended up sharting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 20

By Guest - 13/09/2017 18:07

Today... I found out my dad went to India to get remarried and didn't tell me. My mom who is in the USA wanted to get back together with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 17:57

Today I was told I could go back to school for the degree I want....but with all my aid I would still be 4000 short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 6

By Chris - 13/09/2017 17:38

So a plumber "fixed" my toilet while I was at work yesterday. Woke up to get a shower this morning and there water was running under my bathroom door.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 5

By hazeblaze - 13/09/2017 16:07

Today, we wanted to smoke a joint in a park close to the school we go to. Shortly after, two guys, about the same age as us and dressed normally, walked towards us. We were thinking they wanted to buy some. Turns out they were undercover cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 177

By Mrs.Doingstuff - 13/09/2017 10:16

Today, I had gas very badly. I was driving ,when I got a terrible fart pain being alone in the vehicle, I let it go. Little did I know i was being followed by a cop, who was pulling me over . As he approached, I rolled down the window and he asked me "what died in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 18

By Ohfortheloveofall - 13/09/2017 07:15 - United States - Cody

Today, my son was diciplined in school because he was caught talking about his birthday party with the only other student who will be there. This violated the "everybody or nobody" policy. The student he was speaking with is his twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 05:58

Today, I came home from work early and found my GF in bed with my roommate. When we started dating she told me she was "saving" herself for marriage. Apparently, they got married while I was at work.

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 10

By I'm 29, Who's Your Daddy? - 13/09/2017 05:15

Today, I found out on ancestorydna that I have a half brother I never knew about. Looking at my results I also found out what I thought was my full blood brother that I grew up with is also a half brother... My mom died two years ago and now I have to tell my daddy he's not my biological dad...FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 8

By I'm 29, Who's Your Daddy? - 13/09/2017 05:11

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 5

By "Tia Wallace" - 13/09/2017 02:48

Today my boyfriend and I had to drain our bank account to pay his exe's water shut off bill, and electric bill. He works 90 hour a week and I work 50 hours a week and we have to take cans back for food. We can't refuse, she has his 8 year old son as a legal hostage. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 02:42 - Canada - Newmarket

Today I added my crush who I had met over the summer on snapchat. We went to the same camp from July until the end of August. After I sent him streaks he replied "Who are you again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 8

By hazeblaze - 13/09/2017 00:47

Today, I've tried to start a conversation with my co-worker by telling her a joke. I went for an epileptic joke. Of course she's an epileptic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 89

By Jules - 12/09/2017 23:59

Today on the first day of school I threw up... it wouldn't have been that bad if it wasn't on my teacher... in the middle of class

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 7

By Nina - 12/09/2017 23:22

Today, after months of waking up covered in hives looking for bugs, the pest control confirmed that we have bed bugs. I was the only one with bites and everyone thought it was my combo of allergies, anxiety, and OCD. Turns out bed bugs will favor one host and even follow them into other rooms. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 6

By "sivanna" - 12/09/2017 05:30

Today, I found out two weeks after I gave birth to our third child, my husband cheated on me with the whore next door. did you know yeast infections can be transmitted via sex? my doctor just informed me the hard way.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 7

By hopeless - 12/09/2017 03:31 - United States - Irving

Today, I told my boyfriend about how my childhood friend got married in Las Vegas. He replied with how he wouldn't mind getting married there....THEN he quickly assured me that he won't be getting married until he is "old." We've been dating for 3 years.

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 13

By bigdickdowhatnow? - 12/09/2017 01:34

Today, I almost lost my virginity. I would've, had it not been for the fact that what I thought was a woman was actually just a very convincing transgender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 30

By Lonestar - 11/09/2017 23:27

Today I dropped off my best friend of 20 years at the airport because he moved to Turkey, just to come home to my boyfriend telling me he just applied for a job in Dubai. We currently live in Germany. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 7

By Nihilist - 11/09/2017 18:10 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, at 20 years old, I found out I have shingles. On the way back from the doctor, I got into a car accident which totalled my car. So now I'm in pain because of shingles and have no way to get to classes. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 7

By stel - 11/09/2017 13:39

Today my cat peed and pooed on me today, while my mum drove us home. We were stuck in the car for 10 minutes with the stench, unable to put the windows down. After I got home I went straight to the shower, but afterwards I realized I had no clothes and had to get them from the car-naked and cold.FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 11/09/2017 13:31

Today, I spent the night at the guy's house I've been seeing. We have a past, so his mom doesn't know I come over because she's not over everything that's happened between us before. She caught us in his room, I tried to hide and now he's not allowed to have anyone over. He's 25.

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 55

By Anonymous - 11/09/2017 07:06 - Czech Republic

Today, my teacher is wearing funny T-shirt saying: "I'm a teacher, my level of sarcasm depends on your level of stupidity.". Few minutes ago he told me that I'm brilliant. Not sure what to think about it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 12

By AblokeNamedSue - 10/09/2017 18:23

Today I helped my brother move. I planned on coming out as gay to him for support when we were alone, only for him to pick up one of his friends for help, would've been great if his friend hadn't gone on a 5 hour rant on how gay people were the devil's minions on the car ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 10

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The Top

Today, I told the doctor that one of my ribs sticks out farther than the other. When I lifted my shirt to show him, he immediately laughed and said, "Whoa, that's not subtle is it!" As if I wasn't already insecure about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 243

You deserved it 847

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 762

You deserved it 43 209

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 392

You deserved it 384

Today, I got demoted at work and had a pay cut taken, all because I got sick from cancer and haven't recovered well enough to do every task. We are not short staffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 118

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 95

Today, after yesterday was the second anniversary of my mother’s passing, it’s now my son’s first birthday. To top it off, my job just laid everyone off today too. I had the only income in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 71