Work

Phoneless in Seattle

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 23:00

Today, in a rush to get to the gym after work for a class, I left my phone in the office. It's Friday and the building will be locked until Monday morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 416

Lock in

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 14:00

Today, my boss told me I could do my university work as long as I served customers when they came in. No customers came in all day, then I realised I’d been so focused on my laptop, I'd never noticed I’d left the bolt on the door, so customers couldn’t get in. My boss sacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 2 067

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 10:59

Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 98

Help!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2021 19:58

Today, our boss nicely asked if we were stressed. Before I could answer in the affirmative and ask for help, my colleague replied, “Stress is for the weak!” She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 140

Running

By Anonymous - 18/11/2021 08:00 - United States - Yorktown

Today, I'm a teacher and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and UTI. The doctor warned me the two antibiotics may cause the runs. My doctor was right, they did, during class. I made it to the bathroom, did the deed, only to find out there was no toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 93

Let me stay!

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 23:00

Today, I quit my job, mainly because I didn't work enough hours and thus, earn enough money. In the past, they said there isn't any other paid work they could provide. They've now added different tasks, more money, and more hours to the position. I'm helping to find a replacement for a job I would otherwise apply to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 175

DGAF nursing

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 17:00

Today, my patient was ready to tip over, so I called out for help, but the other nurse didn't even look up from her computer. A tech had to rush over from the end of the room. Is it bad that I wanted to tell the nurse she needs to effing retire? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 107

Dogsbody

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 07:58

Today, and like every day, after I'd just had finished serving a customer on one side of the store, my boss asked me to go help another one on the other side of the store, which is literally a 2-minute walk away, while 2 other staff members were besides him, doing nothing. I don't even get paid commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 124

Uber awkward

By nitrok - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I started driving with Lyft to fill the time until my new job starts next month. During my very first fare, my car died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 753

You deserved it 543

Creepy

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 02:04

Today, I found out what my son has been celebrating. Apparently, his boss caught him smoking weed and fired him, then had a massive stroke and now has the IQ of a potato, so my son just kept turning up to work since his boss hadn’t had the time to tell anyone he was fired, or to fill out any paperwork. My son is scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 447

Reefer madness

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 12:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 204

Depression boulevard

By BigDreaded - 14/11/2021 22:00 - United States - Sioux Falls

Today, after thinking that if I had a good job I'd be OK, I just started a job making almost 30$ an hour. I still pray for death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 232

Meritocracy

By DazedAndConfused - 14/11/2021 11:00

Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 118

Doing it on the company dime

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 17:00

Today, at work, I hooked up with a gorgeous customer in a storage shed. Somehow all my coworkers knew within five minutes, so there’s that, but my direct manager now won’t even look at me because apparently he fancied me himself, but didn’t realise I was a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 1 686

Good job, son!

By peeepeee. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left, all for taking a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 036

You deserved it 4 550

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 184

Sticky

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 06:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while at work, I was driving a manual car for the third time ever. I managed to stall it and jolt forward, bumping the horn at the same time in front of a group of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 243

Great look

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 314

Infantilized

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 20:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I realised I get called “buddy” and “champ” at work more than I get called my actual name, I’m 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 105

Performative

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 01:02 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I fucking hate Veterans Day. It's just an outpouring of artificial gratitude, because tomorrow when all the parades and free meals are all gone, my back will still hurt, my knees will still hurt, and my soul will still be tainted. No one fucking gives a shit anymore, not like yesterday, not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 304

Infrastructure bill

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 02:00

Today, I ran over a pothole that was so small it barely qualified as a hole, more like a dent than a hole, but somehow it was still enough to completely crack the rim of my tire and made me 3 hours late to work. I get paid by the hour, so this will hurt my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 169

Rip it up and start again

By Seriously - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after having just cleaned my office at work, I sat at my desk and opened a can of Diet Coke, which then exploded all over my desk, keyboard, and everything else in its path. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 424

You deserved it 8 379

Classic

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 08:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I asked my coworker how she met the old guy from Squid Games. It turned out to be a picture of her with her grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 1 261

What a surprise!

By damnit. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 168

You deserved it 1 996

Gaslighting 101

By josie - 10/11/2021 08:00

Today, I realized that no one at work actually tells me when there’s a rule change, they just punish me and then try to gaslight me into believing it’s always been a rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 101

Grind mindset

By Anonymous - 09/11/2021 23:00

Today, I had to snatch my son's phone to hang up his “super important work phone call” and force him to pay attention to the nurse trying to hand him his newborn son, while his wife was passed out. He's so career obsessed, I don’t think he noticed his son being born at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 886

You deserved it 234

Testing

By Hari - 07/11/2021 20:01

Today, it’s my second week at work. I received a phone call from corporate HQ that they wanted to make our monitors wireless, so they wanted me to cut the red wire from the main monitors. I did so, and my boss walks in, furious. Turns out it was a set up to see if I’m “that gullible.” Yes, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 1 516

Mixup

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 23:00

Today, I had to Doordash lunch, due to an important work meeting in another timezone running incredibly long. I was trying to play it cool but I was starving. Finally, I get the notification that the food had been dropped off. I looked at the picture: it was delivered to my house instead of my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 468

Insulate Britain at it again

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, thanks to protestors blocking the M25, I missed the only job interview I’ve been invited to in 10 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 127

Cough up

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 11:00

Today, I dinged my boss's very expensive car. My car wasn’t damaged, so in a panic, I moved my car to another spot and said nothing. Less than an hour later, my boss showed me high definition security footage, so now I either cough up repair money I can’t afford, or I get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 1 921

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 360

You deserved it 4 392

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 827

You deserved it 41 842

Today, I had an extreme panic attack in the middle of class. I interrupted another person's presentation, burst into tears, and ran out of class whilst everyone looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 917

You deserved it 3 544

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 005

You deserved it 6 701

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 658

You deserved it 7 806

Today, I got home from a hard day and sent a project due tomorrow from my laptop. While I was in the bathroom, my parents took my laptop, which is all paid by me for no reason. I tried telling them multiple times that I have 3 projects due this week, but they said that's not a reason to stay on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 92