Work

Work work work work

By ghk - 26/09/2021 20:00

Today, I had my first day off in six months. My mother immediately came down to my room and demanded that I clean the entire house. As I was cleaning, she said, "You don’t get to relax. Ever. Lazy ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 118

Welcome to capitalism, baby

By Larissa E. Royster - 26/09/2021 17:00

Today, after spending months building my boss 3 websites and finishing them, I was fired via a short email, saying she didn't need my help anymore. I only worked for her for 3 months, so basically I stopped being useful when I finished her websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 106

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 20:00

Today, I made the major mistake of trusting a fart during a job interview. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 1 064

Foot in mouth

By oopsjsp90 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh… That's actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 455

You deserved it 8 681

Nepotism rules

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 10:59

Today, over a year after my aunt started working for my dad, her timesheets are 8 months overdue. Dad gets mad at me when I complain. She has no consequences, even though business taxes will be very late. She complains about taxes on her 6-figure salary, while I'm part-time hourly. I wish I could find a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 113

Cogs in the machine

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 04:01 - United Kingdom - Lincoln

Today, I was dismissed from my job for my poor absence record. I'd not received any formal warnings, and was dismissed on the spot. My absences were because of my disability. He didn't even ask for medical records. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 171

Slipped up

By hate my job - 24/09/2021 20:00

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 994

More cowbell

By Piitaaraq Vaisanen - 24/09/2021 05:00

Today, I was editing sound on a recording of a live music show. The woman who hired me said she wanted less reverb. I told her that this is how the recording was and I can't magically remove acoustic reverb from something recorded in a church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 107

Alexa, play "Jobseeker" by Sleaford Mods

By Anonymous - 22/09/2021 15:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had a mandatory online meeting with a special work program early in the morning. Despite having insomnia for the past three weeks, I got up on time. No one has emailed me a meeting link, and no replies either. Now, I'm afraid I will lose what little "benefit" the government throws my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 100

Tight ass

By Paf - 21/09/2021 19:59 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, after I've been cleaning a hostel 7/7 for free accommodation for a few weeks, and the owner telling me 3 times to take a day off while he was able to do the job, I'm finally leaving. He's now (and only now) asking me to pay for the 3 nights I "didn't work for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 106

Can't choose

By Blackmailed - 21/09/2021 17:00

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was cool, until I found out that the HR recruiter was my mother-in-law. She told me that the work was mine if I break up with her daughter. I have until the next Wednesday to think about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 106

Thanks, that fixed it

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 20:00

Today, my coworker touched me inappropriately. I reported it to HR, and all they said was, "Do you want to talk to a therapist?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 138

Perv'

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 14:00

Today, someone tried to rob my boss's store and I had a knife held to my neck. That’s not the FML. The FML is that, for some reason, it excited me and I got a boner. The thief told me I was all kinds of messed up and left without stealing anything. My god, I’m some kind of freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 242

Prejudice

By EpicOracle - 20/09/2021 10:00 - Nigeria

Today, I found out that even when I have written and submitted freelance work, the client can refuse to pay and it'd be acknowledged because I'm from Nigeria. Also, they can still use my work. I guess the "Nigerian Prince" issue is affecting even the innocent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 113

Best I can do is…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 05:00

Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 365

No warning

By lol - 19/09/2021 11:00

Today, despite leaving early to go to work, I still ended up late because some dude decided to have an argument with the bus driver, delaying us by 20 minutes. As a result, I was fired without a write-up. This was my first ever time being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 77

Pee is stored in the balls

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 02:01 - Belgium - Lint

Today, I learned two things: first, that a bladder infection may spread to your testicles, and second, that the first does not excuse you from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 105

Buckethead

By hi! - 17/09/2021 14:00

Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 147

Get with the times

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 14:00

Today, I went to mediation with 5 managers and a coworker I do not get along with. Everyone in the room was at least 20 years younger than me, and the entire meeting was them telling me to drag myself into the present century and basically do whatever the younger, "smarter" people say, or else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 388

Knock yourself out

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 08:00

Today, one of my workmates had threatened to destroy my car completely if I fired him for low performance. I was actually shocked, not because of the threat, but because I don't have a car of my own. I don't know how to drive, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 118

That Friday feeling

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 662

You deserved it 1 967

Try again

By Anonymous - 10/09/2021 14:01 - Luxembourg

Today, I spent almost 8 hours working on a piece of hand lettering art for a friend. When I sent her a preview, she loved it, but also pointed out that the title was off centre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 242

You, you, you…

By Anonymous - 10/09/2021 14:30 - India - Thane

Today, I sat through all 3 rounds of interviews for a job along with 14 others. It's assumed that if you reached the third round the job is guaranteed, but it turns out that's not the case. All 14 others were selected. Not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 107

Don't give in!

By Pissed off and scammed. - 10/09/2021 05:00

Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 96

Toxic workplaces

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 14:00 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I'm working in a book company where the boss is stingy, and has promoted an incompetent and rude manager. This trickled down to the whole department where I work being ran as a ego-stroking place. The colleagues are the worst type of people imaginable with jealousy and inferiority complexes at their core. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 156

Libertarian nightmare

By Juan Carlos - 09/09/2021 08:00

Today, when I checked on my last payroll, I realized that I pay more in taxes than I do in house bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 127

Cones

By Blinkin - 08/09/2021 02:00

Today, I recently woke up colourblind and so far no doctor or surgeon can tell me why. I'm a graphic designer, I went to university and put years of practise into this specific skill set, I need to see in colour or this could cost me my job and ruin my career prospects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 82

Wealth

By Anonymous - 06/09/2021 13:59

Today, after about 8 hours of working and making huge orders, I received my share of tips. It was only a quarter. One single quarter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 89

Scraping by

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 107

You deserved it 5 010

The precious truck

By Anonymous - 05/09/2021 11:00

Today, I got fired because, while responding to an emergency page for the volunteer fire department to help find a man in a field with a gunshot wound, I backed into a rock with the company truck that I drive to and from work. Nobody asked about the guy with the bullet inside him. He's OK now, in case anyone cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 170

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 402

You deserved it 2 808

Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked his head through the door right after we had finished, but were still naked in bed. All he said was, "No twins," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 471

You deserved it 4 517

Today, I got a big math test back. Good news: I can connect abstract ideas beyond what was taught. Bad news: I can’t do simple math, such as 30/-5. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 036

You deserved it 861

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 695

You deserved it 21 067

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 699

You deserved it 1 206

Today, it's been week since I won a Hackathon at work, while working from home, yay! Winners get trophies, which is cool. I asked my coworker who won if he got a trophy and another coworker decided to chime in with, "Only winners get the trophies." I won, but I just didn't get a trophy. "Oh, guess they ran out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 107