Work

Filthy animal

By Chris - 25/01/2022 14:01

Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 112

The Hangover, part 26

By Fabuan - 24/01/2022 14:00

Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 2 039

Quarantine stress

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 11:01

Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 120

Going swimmingly

By Anonymous - 22/01/2022 17:00

Today, all the roads going in and out of my town are closed due to flooding. I work 3 towns away, and was threatened with termination if I didn't come to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 91

Bag of frozen peas time

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 22:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I got sent home from work after a customer's daughter kicked me in the balls because her order was wrong. She was 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 121

Bad times

By Day - 21/01/2022 02:01

Today, I got an email stating that my scholarship request was denied, 51 days after applying with no response. I'm now forced to drop-out from my college degree because I ran out of money, and I've been unsuccessful at finding a job for two years either, thanks to Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 235

Paper thin walls

By Anonymous - 20/01/2022 05:00

Today, I live in an apartment and all I can hear is my neighbours' bratty kids screaming with their new toys. Not only do I hate kids, making this absolute torture, I also work nights and only fell into bed at 6 a.m. this morning, so that’s 4 hours trying to sleep so far and I’m back at work in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 283

New man

By Anonymous - 19/01/2022 08:01

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who broke up with me the day before yesterday, got a job at my workplace. He shows up dressed his best clothes, clean-shaven, and with perfume. For the 10 months we dated, I only saw him in baggy tops, sweatpants, a weird beard, and the smell of sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 251

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 19/01/2022 02:01

Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 173

The Pope thinks you're selfish

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 23:01

Today, as part of my job, I had to watch a few 5 year-olds while their parents were busy with my manager. It only confirmed my choice to never have children, and yet my mother still insists I should have one, because once they exist and I love them, I’ll see how silly my choice to not have them is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 174

Ice age

By Drew - 16/01/2022 16:59

Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 165

Make it so

By AndTheStupidShallRule - 15/01/2022 23:02 - United States

Today, the person who signs off on my work asked me to change numbers on a federal report, saying my logic didn't make sense. They have a bachelor's degree in education. I have two graduate degrees in math and computer science. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 139

Pretty much

By JustAScreen - 15/01/2022 19:59 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, I was at a family birthday, and was excitingly telling my aunt about my new career in IT Security and Data Management. Her response was, "So you just look into a screen all day?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 160

This job sucks

By Rafael - 14/01/2022 20:01

Today, the thirteenth new hire quit at the call center I work at, while still in training. We just started last week with a wave of 20 new hires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 276

Depends which one

By nabru - 14/01/2022 10:01 - Brazil - Itapema

Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to study and do homework, then worked for 8 hours, then went to the gym, and finally went home to study even more. Then I realized I'll never make as much money or be as cool as a YouTube celebrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 309

You done ****** up

By Anonymous - 13/01/2022 21:01 - South Africa - Bronkhorstspruit

Today, I briefed a developer to delete 57 email accounts. I sent the wrong screenshots; those were the ones the client asked to stay active. The clients now don't have access to their emails until the account gets restored. I feel like crawling into a hole and dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 1 265

People gonna be people

By Anonymous - 13/01/2022 10:59

Today, I had to fix signs to a pond in the public park, stating that the water is not fit for drinking. Yes, this is after someone drank the water, became very sick, and successfully sued us for not having a sign up telling him the pond of mucky brown water with fish in isn’t fresh drinking water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 103

Troublemaker

By Anonymous - 11/01/2022 05:01

Today, a new hire at my workplace, who is already on probation, yelled at me about filing an HR complaint about him. I had customers, who definitely heard. I've never filed a complaint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 97

Internalized misogyny

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 13:59

Today, I was anonymously sent screenshots of texts from my new boss to my interviewer, saying I got almost all the questions wrong but to hire me anyway because they’re hiring quota has to be at least 40% women. That’s the only reason I got the job, tits and no brains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 587

Free market, amirite?

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 11:01

Today, I work in HR and last week we'd hired an apprentice for our repair shop. He was great. I spent $500 company dollars on his uniform. Later, he called me saying he had been offered a job paying $10 more an hour than what we were offering, as much as our experienced workers make. I either have to match it, or be out a helper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 1 110

Salad days

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw a customer open a bottle of salad dressing, taste it, then put it back on the shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 416

You deserved it 834

Meritocracy, amirite?

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 05:01

Today, I worked for 4 hours and made $28.00. I have $1500 of bills coming due soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 201

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 20:01

Today, I got a new name, which is “We” apparently. My supervisor keeps admonishing me about details, saying, “WE don’t do that” and, “WE make sure to do this”, while she herself simply does anything she pleases, including the opposite of what she tells me “we do”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 130

Never trust a cookie

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 14:01

Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 192

What a * liar, dude! What a *, weaselly, little liar, dude!

By nohablaespanol - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Sanger

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resumé, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 658

You deserved it 96 004

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 10:59

Today, my dad completely disregards my mental health, insists mental disorders are just excuses for laziness in my generation, so even though I have crippling depression, at times he has no sympathy and will mercilessly bully me into “snapping out of it” and to "get a damn job already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 489

Now hiring

By BossLady - 05/01/2022 08:01

Today, it's my first day as the boss, after waiting months for this promotion. Today is also the day my replacement, who I trained for three months, quit. Now I've got two jobs for the price of one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 113

Wise words

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 05:01

Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 200

Good start

By Paperboy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Ilijas

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found out that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 084

You deserved it 3 131

Antiwork

By GhostPenguin - 04/01/2022 14:01

Today, my soon-to-be former boss tried to NOT pay me for working on Christmas Eve, but I called her out. Now, she's blocked me out of her life, and is looking for my replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 148

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 410

You deserved it 3 996

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 530

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 808

You deserved it 2 634

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 182

You deserved it 6 147

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home, my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the "cute girl" was my three year-old niece. I lost a tooth from the punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 735

You deserved it 5 615

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 113

You deserved it 6 131