About Blixamarkham
I have been a lurker for a really long time and am deciding to take the plunge to join the community!
Blixamarkham - Followers
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  • One more and it's business time

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The list of badges to find
Blixamarkham's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 21 June 2013 20:27 / United States

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

By Coryj1220 / Wednesday 26 March 2014 03:53 / United States - Louisville

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 25 February 2014 21:17 / United States - Fort Worth

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 15 February 2014 22:44 / United States - Carlisle

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

By deargodthepain - / Sunday 2 February 2014 16:53 / United States