Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14531) - you totally deserved it (2144)
On 11/17/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
(+1)Replace the words "stress ball" with the word 'penis' then LOL.
You are officially immature. :D
#74 - On 01/03/2010 at 1:41pm by arsenalfcboy
(+1)Mild suck. Try a wad of silly putty next time, or if you want to pretend that you're more 'grown up' than that, get a kneaded/clay eraser from an art supply store.
#2 - On 11/17/2009 at 6:05am by artsavage13
(-1)Or just learn to get over yourself, ffs. Why are meetings ran by a chick who can't even get her shit together anyway?
#5 - On 11/17/2009 at 6:15am by Good_old_Grim
(0)You deserve it. One, what are you doing in a business where you can't handle a meeting without a stress ball? Two, what the hell compelled you to get one filled with a black liquid? There are ones filled with sand, or made of silicone, foam, whatever. So, good job, and man the fuck up.
#9 - On 11/17/2009 at 7:10am by SelfTitledAlbum
(+1)OP never said the stress ball was filled with a black liquid. OP is also a woman, btw.
#10 - On 11/17/2009 at 7:14am by sweetsweetway
(+1)If she's a manager/proposing something/etc., then of course she's going to hold a meeting. Also, stress happens often to people and they handle it in different ways (a stress ball is actually better than, say, punching walls?), so acting macho and saying 'man the fuck up' is only making you seem like a jackass, no lie.
#64 - On 11/17/2009 at 8:16pm by ohdangkids
(+1)Dude.. Stress balls have rice in them. Make one with rice and balloons, much better.
#13 - On 11/17/2009 at 7:38am by onyxindigo
(+1)Or she could make one with a condom and flour.So close yet so far,hahaha
#14 - On 11/17/2009 at 7:41am by JustaAngel
(+2)That's the problem with you women -- you have to buy your stress balls.
We guys have a built-in pair that we squeeze during stressful meetings (and dates, for that matter) and have a natural limit switch that tells us when were doing it too hard. This mode of stress relief does have the unfortunate danger of also messing up a black suit.
(+1)Why am I not surprised that mercy weighs in with authority when the topic involves busting balls?
;)
(+1)You are correct, Toxi. According to an authority on the subject, and I quote:
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best.
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night.
(+1)We know it wouldn't work as good as the real thing, though. ;D
#52 - On 11/17/2009 at 2:57pm by wingedspiritus
(+1)ARE YOU STRESSED AT WORK, HOME, OR AT YOUR LOCAL GROCERY STORE AND NEED SOMETHING TO SQUEEZE ON? HAS YOUR STRESS CAUSED YOU TO SQUEEZE MULTIPLE ITEMS SUCH AS STRESS BALLS, PENS, YOUR SANITY, AND SO FORTH? DID YOU SQUEEZE THE ITEMS SO HARD THAT THEY CAUSED AN EMBARRASSING MESS ON YOUR OUTFIT?
ZOMBIE BILLY MAYS HERE FOR MY NEW PRODUCT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE CALLED BALLS-DEEP! NEVER AGAIN WILL THAT MESS CAUSE YOU ANY MORE EMBARRASSMENT! JUST SQUEEZE THE PRODUCT ONTO THE STAIN, WAIT FOR THE SCALDING, WRITING PAIN TO STOP, AND WIPE AWAY! JUST LIKE THAT, YOUR OUTFIT IS NOW MESS-FREE!
IF YOU ACT NOW, YOU CAN GET TWO SQUEEZETUBES OF BALLS-DEEP FOR THREE EASY PAYMENTS AND ONE COMPLICATED PAYMENT OF $34.55! ACT NOW OR I WILL FIND YOU AND FEAST ON YOUR BRAAAAAAINNNNSSSS!
#24 - On 11/17/2009 at 10:28am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(+1)*Sigh*, sexism is a real problem, especially on this site. I guess some people are so uncomfortable with themselves and have such low self-esteem, they target others to make themselves feel better. And since it isn't acceptable to say "Get out there and pick some cotton" anymore, they just change it to "Get in there and make me a sammich". Idiots have to do something to amuse themselves.
#32 - On 11/17/2009 at 11:24am by Intoxicunt
(-1)Well said. Now get in there and make me a sammich.
#33 - On 11/17/2009 at 11:29am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(+1)This is the problem with girls today, they can't take a joke. You crack man jokes, yell at guys for staring at cleavage that you throw out into the public, and whine about wanting to be treated, "like a lady." Feminism is about EQUALITY, not SUPERIORITY. Stop whining here about some guys who like to crack a few jokes, there are women who really suffer from sexism.
Btw, I'm a chick, and I still think you need to grow up.
(+1)LadyKaya, you are my hero. I'll make you a sammich.
OP, grow up and stop taking your stress out in violent ways.
(-1)By "you" you mean other women? I don't do that, at least not anymore. I am all for equality, as you said. Notice, in my comment I specifically said "people" who are sexist are idiots, etc. I mean that for all sexist human beings. I'm not someone who is going to go around saying "God, men are such sexist pigs. Every single one of them is a dog. I hate men." No. Sexism isn't cool from either side. So, before you assume everything about my life..... well, actually, just don't ever do that.
And I get that it's usually a joke. Is it ok if every time I hear a story about, say, a Latin American, I say something like "Well, get back over the border, wetback!" Dude. No. It's not funny, especially after the first few times. It's not just that it's offensive, for me it's just distasteful. It's a shitty attempt at humor.
#45 - On 11/17/2009 at 1:07pm by Intoxicunt
(+1)Perhaps so, but it bugs me when people whine about something when there really are women out there who do suffer.
Kind of like people who fake eating disorders to get attention.
Perhaps it is distasteful, and maybe everyone doesn't find it funny, but it's not something to get all up in arms and complain about. It's the internet, and it is ruled by /b/tards. *shrugs* Live and let live.
(+1)Yeah, you're right. I know stupid sexist/racist comments on here aren't anything to really get worked up about. I'm just annoyed by it the same way I am by FIRST! comments. It's just like, come on people, think of something better to say. But yeah, I'm hardly going to work myself into a tizzy over it.
#47 - On 11/17/2009 at 1:17pm by Intoxicunt
(+1)The thing you have to ask yourself though, is why are sexist joke so acceptable in our society? Obviously you'll get a completely different reaction from race jokes. It reflects on our values as a society.
I'm all for humor. But you have to read between the lines.
I'm with Intoxicunt on this one.
(+1)To my knowledge both can breed bad reactions from the target group, and can be grounds for legal action in the work place. I wouldn't exactly say that is accepted precisely but at the same time people will put up with offensive jokes for two reasons: they are jokes and many times people take pleasure in them. Plus you must realize you were trolled. You are being provoked and you are acting as par the writer intended. gratz
(+1)I'm not enraged by the jokes. I just saw a discussion already in place, so I wanted to give my 2 cents.
Free speech, yo!
(+1)Thanks. I have a point -- too bad it is on top of my head. Ba-dum-boom.
What happened was I was trying to reply to Intoxicunt (#26) and it ended up here. When I found that the comment had somehow been placed at the end, I cut the text and replaced it with a period (full-stop, whatever). Thanks for not being brutal.
(+1)That's what you get for wearing a suit to the office. Change back into your skirt, and go make some fresh coffee. It will make you feel better.
#41 - On 11/17/2009 at 12:36pm by ozymandias
(+1)That's why stress balls suck. Use baoding balls instead. *bonk*
#50 - On 11/17/2009 at 2:10pm by blastvortex
(+1)Happened to me before mine was filled with flour though and I squeezed it and it blew up in my face.
(-1)Owned. Also, YDI for using a stress ball. Couldn't you have beaten up a hobo before the meeting like the rest of us?
(-1)If you're wearing a skirtsuit, FYL. You were going to look really hot, but then you stress-killed yourself.
If you're wearing a pantsuit, YDI. It's not like you were going to look sexy anyway, so why worry?
Note: Disliking pantsuits is not sexist, nor is judging a woman by her appearance. Get over yourselves.
(-1)I am female but have no intention to ware low-cut shirts. So by the logic of some ppl, it is ok to stare at a girl cuz of what they ate waring, NO WAY! that, truly is disgusting. Sexism no matter what (joke intentioned or not) is not cool. You should think before saying, a female you keep being sexist to is bound to one day be your boss or someone of a higher power. If you dudes don't like us gals makeing sexist jokes then you should shut ur lips.
#58 - On 11/17/2009 at 6:14pm by Houndourpup
(+1)i know how that feels, somehow whenever i eat anything with ketchup i'll get some on a easily visible part of my shirt.
#66 - On 11/17/2009 at 9:08pm by PoopskinTheLiar
(+1)notice how it says "Please be respectful"? Shame on some of you!
#67 - On 11/17/2009 at 11:21pm by uknb93
(+1)hey dumbass.
notice how it says PLEASE be respectful?
it's a request, not a demand,
you fucker!
#73 - On 11/19/2009 at 1:06am by whatthefuckcunt
(-1)lol was it frank's stress ball from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Cuz... since that's and egg that MAY not work. Anyways, Is your cat making TOO MUCH NOISE?? Well, then you you might be in need of some Kitten Mittens!!! The only proved method to muffle your cat's click clacking on the floor! (also from it's always sunny)
(+1)who the fuck comes on here to quote stupid bits of that dumb fuckin show?
dude, fuck YOUR life.
#72 - On 11/19/2009 at 1:04am by whatthefuckcunt
(+1)what the hell kind of stress balls you buy? get a foam one.
#71 - On 11/18/2009 at 8:53pm by Jesster_King
