Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you totally deserved it (1090)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)
that's got forgiveness blowjob written all over it. score.
#63 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:22pm by Bo_day_shus
umm. i'm kind of in love with your comment Bo_day_shus. :D
#68 - On 10/13/2009 at 5:00pm by HOPELESSLYxJENN
at least it wasn't agun or it hit you in thefamily jewals
#72 - On 03/06/2010 at 3:16am by cookiepenguin
Oh it is, I had a giant cactus plant when I lived in Florida. Was right outside the house. If I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking... ouchies.
#23 - On 10/11/2009 at 6:31pm by Sun_Kissed18
Fourth. No but seriously, ouch. Well, ouch only if it hit you in the face; which would have been really funny if it was on youtube in slow-mo.
Perhaps it's all part of an s&m thing she's trying? Seriously, try this pineapple idea, i'm sure it'll only make your marriage more of a success.
#11 - On 10/11/2009 at 5:25pm by paivarotti
good use of the word "bajingo"
i haven't heard that in a long time!
#55 - On 10/12/2009 at 2:41pm by madishunwhut7
Hahaha you reminded me of a comic called Girls With Slingshots. :D
#47 - On 10/12/2009 at 12:51am by PandaPandaPandaX
^ do you really not have a legit comment to say? that sucks btw. those needles hurt I've been poked by em before. and I have the flu. that would be cool if it was swine
#14 - On 10/11/2009 at 5:35pm by fmlreader1359
one of the few FMLs that have actually made me laugh out loud.
so, sorry you got hit with a cactus,
but tell your wife she made my day :)
the best way to get the pricks out is to us duck tape
trust me it works
i have fallen on one (and it hurt)
DUCK TAPE
DUCK TAPE
DUCK TAPE
DUCK TAPE
DUCK TAPE
DUCK TAPE
**DUCK TAPE**
^^DUCK TAPE^^
@@DUCK TAPE@@
##DUCK TAPE##
%%DUCK TAPE%%
&&DUCK TAPE&&
++DUCK TAPE==LESS PAIN
#21 - On 10/11/2009 at 6:23pm by CatherineARE
Duck tape can be used in this situation. Duck tape is a brand of duct tape, it's like saying, "Hey, get me a Kleenex." Kleenex is a brand of tissue. So think before you speak.
Yeah but Kleenex has become such a household name that people don't use it to refer only to the brand. People only call it duck tape because they don't know it's actually called duct tape.
And the duck brand includes more than just duct tape. I've seen masking tape with that brand too.
#54 - On 10/12/2009 at 2:28pm by menschmaschine5
Still, no reason to get butthurt about spelling errors.
Your/You're
Duck tape/Duct tape
In the end, it's you who loses for wasting your time on a simple error.
#56 - On 10/12/2009 at 3:17pm by Ohnothingreally
Those ducks make pretty good tape eh?
And OP, the way you worded this was awesome, I LOLed. :D
#58 - On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm by Monie_Madness
Lmao I think you mean feng shui...
But fung shu is funny shit. >.
#39 - On 10/11/2009 at 10:03pm by ChronicFAIL
Who DOESN'T sleep with a cactus on their nightstand?? I know I do, protects me from scary dreams and unwanted soup.
#37 - On 10/11/2009 at 9:46pm by spazzyjazzy27
my friend has a cactus. why is it so hard to believe that some people might happen to have cacti in their houses?
#32 - On 10/11/2009 at 7:24pm by originalusername
Do burglars in Georgia always come armed with soup and loving care?
You're wife has some wicked fast reflexes to just wake up and be able to defend herself so effectively.
She's a keeper.
#40 - On 10/11/2009 at 10:09pm by ChronicFAIL
OMG I laughed my ass off when I read this. I agree those lightning fast refexes are awesome for your wife to have just too bad that she reacted before she realized that it was her husband bringing her a care package. Good choice for a weapon though lol....sorry OP that must've hurt alot.
#43 - On 10/11/2009 at 11:21pm by Kronic_Kitten
Obviously she's just pissed at being stuck with a needle every night and wants you to know how it feels for once.
first FML to make me lol in a long time and this has to be the best comment stream on earth...rotfl
#52 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:11am by greenltrn2003
Nice. On a school trip years ago some genius decided to see what it was like to sit on a cactus.....He was sent home crying.
Slow motion video of this would be absolutely hillarious!!!!
OP excliams: WWWWWWWWWWWTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!! as the cactus slowly flies towards him.
Her: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY after it hits him :)
#64 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:23pm by Kronic_Kitten
