Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Undercover
Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML
Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML
Miscommunication
Today, I saw a really cute guy in the grocery store. We made eye contact a few times and I was trying to work up the nerve to start a conversation. Instead, he screamed, "Yes, I know I’m fat, bitch. You don’t have to stare!” I got so many dirty looks I left immediately. I didn’t think he was fat. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML
Parent #1 of the Year
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
Top comments
Ambient25 24
I ******* hate guys that think women are a possession. "Hey why are you looking at my girl?!" is one of the most retarded statements a guy can make. I'm sorry that you're so insecure that you think your girlfriend will run off with the 1st guy who makes eye contact. Guys like that just need to give their stuff to charity and run into a freeway blindfolded.
WelcomeToAndale 13
Seems to me this guy's just looking for a fight, no matter what you say.
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Comments (78)
nina21194 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Coulda said it better. You kinda deserve it for that
Shrike 23
Pretty rich coming from a guy using the words "coulda" and "kinda", and who doesn't believe in proper punctuation.
shorty6823 28
He never actually said that about the woman, only that he had better things to do than look at random women.
OneObstacle 3
@ #3 That's extremely rich coming from someone who doesn't use complete sentence structures and assumes that everyone on the internet is a "guy." The internet isn't an elementary writing class, so please get off your high horse. P.S. Upon further inspection, the irony of your second clause, in conjunction with your unnecessary comma, makes me sure you're either a troll or the internet's worst Grammar Nazi.
Shrike 23
I'm not the one taking the piss out of the OP with an arbitrary YDI, but whatever makes you feel better about yourself. Oh, and your "the internet isn't an English class" / "high horse" hypocrisy aside, saying that my comma somehow makes for a grammatically-incorrect sentence is totally wrong, and you did exactly the same thing in your own comment. Who's the real troll here?
Gvfell 9
Says the guy using fake words.
Voij 16
Now everybody: Cast your votes! The collective shall vote "FML's next Comment-Troll", right after these commercials.
mim777 4
lol just lol
hama806 19
24- although this thread is ridiculous and has absolutely nothing to do with what you meant in your original comment (the first part at least), the "grammar nazi is using real words. You should look them up if you don't believe me.
Axipiter 24
14, you're not worthy of that profile photo. Get rid of it.
olpally 32
Just read my profile about grammar nazis' and spelling. That is exactly how I feel. Haha. This thread is very stupid. Bacon.
Ambiguous404 6
Why is #14 getting thumbed down? I agree with him FML surely is not an "elementary writing class". Grammar Nazis are really starting to take the piss!
Axipiter 24
I thumbed him down based on his assinine third paragraph. And for being one of the individuals who constantly confuses being a Grammar Nazi with being coherent on the internet.
emmydafox 16
Grammar is important.
Mr_Satan 11
Grammar is important, sure, but only to a point. If you get what someones trying to say, move the **** on. Hell, half of the self-proclaimed "grammar nazis" that I've seen correct people on here don't even know what grammar is; They just correct spelling mistakes, not actual sentence structure. If someone asks what some dipshit's trying to say, then by all means translate the gibberish. Otherwise, just get the **** over it.
liltwistism 12
Of course there have to be commercials. I hate when commercials are played during a suspenseful moment.
ise3 10
I mean if you say something incorrectly people will point it out. Why not the same on the internet which is just as colloquial as everyday speech? Although admittedly the slang is different. Btw i forgot what the fml was about reading the comments.. But yeah the guy might just be insecure about his woman.
daner10 5
Shut your butt 14.
Fedezzer 20
Hey, if you're going to be Grammar Nazi you've got to at least know what you're doing. #14 makes a good point, even if it is somewhat unnecessary.
PrincessPesa 20
Hey 51! It's spelled asinine, if we're going to be sticklers about it.
OneObstacle 3
It was perfectly coherent. I'm just saying that if you're going to rip on others for grammar on the damn internet, don't make your own comment an atrocity. And I've been using this profile photo for years.
shorty6823 28
I would have eventually had to stop myself from punching him in the face.
desoto96 9
Same here, I have the tendency to throw first, and ask questions later.
laden_swallow09 34
Watch out! We have a badass over here!
Joe9024 20
I usually ask questions, then get punched for asking them..
WelcomeToAndale 13
Seems to me this guy's just looking for a fight, no matter what you say.
Ambient25 24
I ******* hate guys that think women are a possession. "Hey why are you looking at my girl?!" is one of the most retarded statements a guy can make. I'm sorry that you're so insecure that you think your girlfriend will run off with the 1st guy who makes eye contact. Guys like that just need to give their stuff to charity and run into a freeway blindfolded.
PulseShock 9
A lot of guys are insecure, especially if their girlfriend is more attractive then they are, girls do the same. Regardless he shouldn't have assumed he was staring at "his girl". There was no need for a confrontation, the guy obviously is just a dick.
license2chill 5
Amen to that
desoto96 9
If a guy was blatantly eyeballing my woman to a point that it made HER uncomfortable I would say something. But not for a glance or two, the guy was just itching to fight, and the funny thing is guys like that need a good butt whopping to make them humble.
TrueDragons 2
5, you do realize it's not only guys who do that right? Way to be sexist. Oh, and before you say that it is mostly guys who do that, you don't have any proof.
Mr_Satan 11
Hey, 52, good job putting words in 5's comment for him. Way to be a douche!
Zebediabolical 43
Some people are just ****** in the head. You shouldn't even engage with them.
BreynHope 11
Mick jagger turd haha nice. I hate when guys think their woman is god's gift to women, especially when there ******* ugly.
BreynHope 11
Men* not women. I ****** that up, didn't I?
dead_insects 18
*they're
flashback.miss 28
Quick thinking! Some people just want to start things just to feel better about their selves.
pistachiopanda 19
"Bah! That's a woman?!"
eddeeezzyy 19
*Hank Hill voice* "Bwah!"
bluxie 4
Mangalomania?!
Jasper1405 16
I'm going to take an eduqated guess and say that this guy wasn't a science fair winning kinda guy...
Jaculiferous 17
I'm just going to take an education guess and say you weren't the spelling bee winning type of guy.
Chromax 8
The irony in these two comments is almost tangible. If I could just figure out some way to extract it, I could sell it to hipsters and get rich!
Axipiter 24
The hipsters would arrive in droves for a daily dose of irony!
avapaige1234 19
Lol you can make an educated guess and can't even spell 'educated'? How educated are you?
RedPillSucks 31
irony supplements for sale.
r1nstang 3
sorry posted on wring one