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Okay, here's the plan.. put on some new wipers, but rig them to electrocute the thief. That'll show him! Just.. make sure you don't touch them. Or get them wet. Okay, this is a bad idea, so never mind.
No one is stealing them.
Your car is a transformer, and he hates the ones you buy for him, so every time you leave, he chucks them as far away as possible, then turns into a car again.
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.