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zyme

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zyme
  • Town/Country : Tampa, FL, USA, USA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1984 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 834
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.

zyme's last visitors

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zyme's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zyme's badges

zyme's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14657) - you deserved it (37223)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML

#19703375
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (6539)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:37am - work - by Fackwork (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7625) - you deserved it (28329)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16151) - you deserved it (1169)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16414) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

#19633356
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11022) - you deserved it (19364)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36979) - you deserved it (3014)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (2420)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (5686)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (2509)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been paying her half of the rent by taking my ATM card and getting money from my account. FML

#19615812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19305) - you deserved it (3598)

On 05/13/2012 at 9:08am - money - by humbug - United States (Colorado)

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

#19608696
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28978) - you deserved it (4265)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48296) - you deserved it (2257)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

#19602303
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (1315)

On 05/10/2012 at 11:45am - misc - by PollingLow (man) - United States (Georgia)



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