About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (7264)
On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (2204)
On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (33971)
On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6186) - you deserved it (14944)
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14035) - you deserved it (29666)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12273) - you deserved it (3481)
On 07/01/2012 at 12:30am - animals - by emi -
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (7212)
On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (1389)
On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28885) - you deserved it (1137)
Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (1992)
On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France
Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6899) - you deserved it (17520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (2142)
On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17299) - you deserved it (1073)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17030) - you deserved it (860)
On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9436) - you deserved it (21379)
On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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