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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2497
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.

zyme's page activity

Visits<b>ucoolgirl31</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:51pm<b>riddhi</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:23am<b>MrPlamen</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Necropool</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 12:46am<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ZeusBeDubsteppin</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:45pm<b>Zarcissa</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:09pm<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:38am<b>lotr4</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 11:14am<b>qwerty401</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:31pm<b>OneDayDown</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:57am<b>uhsbaseball18</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:11am<b>minecraft_lady</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 11:27pm<b>sunflowerchild</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:04am<b>Maddy_Moore</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:05am<b>hahascrewu</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 9:37am<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 1:31am<b>mbeb99</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 12:18am

Fucked!<b>ucoolgirl31</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:51pm

zyme's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zyme's badges

zyme's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

by maddiebauer / 07/26/2012 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

by Unlucky / 07/25/2012 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

by strangebeans / 07/25/2012 at 1:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

by It was the 11 year old / 07/21/2012 at 4:00am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

by Taylor / 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

by are you kidding me???? / 07/20/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

by TimeForACareerChange / 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm / United States / Work

Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 12:06pm / United States / Love

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous