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zyme

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zyme

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1405
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.

zyme's page activity

Visits<b>qwerty401</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:31pm<b>OneDayDown</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:57am<b>uhsbaseball18</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:11am<b>minecraft_lady</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 11:27pm<b>sunflowerchild</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:04am<b>Maddy_Moore</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:05am<b>hahascrewu</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 9:37am<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 1:31am<b>mbeb99</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 12:18am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 1:31am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 5:07am<b>sleepRX</b> - the 11/20/2012 at 12:07am<b>kay2810</b> - the 01/24/2012 at 2:10am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 10:05am<b>JimUnderscore</b> - the 05/10/2010 at 1:03am

zyme's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zyme's badges

zyme's favorite FMLs

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (4199)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16995) - you deserved it (26205)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

#20087510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (2328)

On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7191) - you deserved it (29826)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43937) - you deserved it (6348)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (1931)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

#20047681
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19994) - you deserved it (1265)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:12am - health - by jdch_99 - United States

Today, I attended my college roommate's wedding. We were best friends for 4 years, but have only talked occasionally since graduation. I was looking forward to meeting her new husband, having heard so much about him during our conversations. Turns out she forgot to mention he's my ex. FML

#20043916
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (1947)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:11am - love - by Betrayed (woman) - United States

Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML

#20043557
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (1507)

On 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by damnit. (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (2020)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (2020)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

#20040149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27463) - you deserved it (2010)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

#20039859
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (7109)

On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



FML's blog

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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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