zyme

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zyme

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1928
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.

zyme's page activity

Visits<b>ucoolgirl31</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:51pm<b>riddhi</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:23am<b>MrPlamen</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Necropool</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 12:46am<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ZeusBeDubsteppin</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:45pm<b>Zarcissa</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:09pm<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:38am<b>lotr4</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 11:14am<b>qwerty401</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:31pm<b>OneDayDown</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:57am<b>uhsbaseball18</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:11am<b>minecraft_lady</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 11:27pm<b>sunflowerchild</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:04am<b>Maddy_Moore</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:05am<b>hahascrewu</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 9:37am<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 1:31am<b>mbeb99</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 12:18am

Fucked!<b>ucoolgirl31</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:51pm

zyme's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zyme's badges

zyme's favorite FMLs

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

by thatwas10yearsago / 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

by N/A / 09/25/2012 at 12:13am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

by unaware / 09/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

by jdch_99 / 08/29/2012 at 9:12am / United States / Health

Today, I attended my college roommate's wedding. We were best friends for 4 years, but have only talked occasionally since graduation. I was looking forward to meeting her new husband, having heard so much about him during our conversations. Turns out she forgot to mention he's my ex. FML

by Betrayed / 08/27/2012 at 2:11am / United States / Love

Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML

by damnit. / 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work