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zyme

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zyme
  • Town/Country : Tampa, FL, USA, USA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1984 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 825
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.

zyme's last visitors

dead_insectsdoubledutchysleepRXkay2810RedPillSucks

zyme's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zyme's badges

zyme's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13771) - you deserved it (1269)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17419) - you deserved it (3258)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (4078)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7510) - you deserved it (28093)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6318) - you deserved it (21247)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (1576)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML

#20135256
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4392) - you deserved it (19569)

On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (1130)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19083) - you deserved it (1929)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (1983)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

#20120633
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (2163)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (4038)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4591) - you deserved it (38921)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (1636)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada



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