About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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zyme's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML
by laurlaur / 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 3:04am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/04/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
by Michelle / 08/03/2011 at 2:01am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by OhDeary / 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Clare / 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm / Canada / Health
Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML
by ExtemelyBroke / 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Money
by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
by hopeless1 / 04/26/2009 at 1:40am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by blaise / 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML
by dfhgblsf / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw… Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between…