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zyme

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zyme
  • Town/Country : Tampa, FL, USA, USA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1984 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 830
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.

zyme's last visitors

dead_insectsdoubledutchysleepRXkay2810RedPillSucks

zyme's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zyme's badges

zyme's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (28376)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24250) - you deserved it (1925)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

#18660623
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19961) - you deserved it (655)

On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (4487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML

#18534413
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9062) - you deserved it (35386)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:30am - love - by SuperCoolGurl (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

#18534349
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33431) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:17am - love - by fmll - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him for the first time. His response was to smile and pat me on the head. FML

#18533113
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (3267)

On 12/17/2011 at 1:49am - love - by teejayrn - United States

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

#18531545
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (3927)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by agony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my dad has been sending dirty text messages to my mom. Which wouldn't be a problem except they're divorced and my dad is remarried. FML

#18383892
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (1769)

On 11/29/2011 at 8:31am - intimacy - by bgoodwin07 - United States (Texas)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (11765)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

#18109822
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (2001)

On 10/30/2011 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (6684)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

#18108798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (1898)

On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10024) - you deserved it (31074)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (7642)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)



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