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zyme

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zyme
  • Town/Country : Tampa, FL, USA, USA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 1242
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.

zyme's last visitors

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zyme's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zyme's badges

zyme's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (1794)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (1706)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after handing out several résumés for several jobs, I realized that I forgot to add my phone number to them. FML

#19188907
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8356) - you deserved it (25348)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:21pm - work - by tammylauraine - United States

Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML

#19181816
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29327) - you deserved it (5580)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:10pm - misc - by KidJwal - United States

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

#19174580
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38698) - you deserved it (2243)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States

Today, after breaking down in front of my therapist over some really sensitive issues, she decided to also break down. Not about my story but about her own life. I'm not being paid to comfort and console my therapist. FML

#19074382
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (2372)

On 02/14/2012 at 2:16pm - health - by ryuken23 (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

#19025200
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5436) - you deserved it (36185)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (3906)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

#18968998
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (2425)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: "Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn't look too heated." A few minutes later, he replied: "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

#18961404
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you deserved it (8438)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by B - Netherlands

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6031) - you deserved it (48063)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML

#18904031
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8659) - you deserved it (21739)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:00am - intimacy - by talkingtoaretard (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (31852)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35805) - you deserved it (3158)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden



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