About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.
zyme's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
zyme's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy
by cmoney6452 / 03/01/2012 at 11:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Fairy31 / 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by tammylauraine / 02/29/2012 at 1:21pm / United States / Work
Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML
by KidJwal / 02/28/2012 at 12:10pm / United States / Transportation
by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love
Today, after breaking down in front of my therapist over some really sensitive issues, she decided to also break down. Not about my story but about her own life. I'm not being paid to comfort and console my therapist. FML
by ryuken23 / 02/14/2012 at 2:16pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Health
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
by oh.geez / 02/05/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Animals
Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML
by mareda / 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: "Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn't look too heated." A few minutes later, he replied: "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
by B / 01/31/2012 at 3:36pm / Netherlands / Intimacy
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
by smith / 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom (York) / Health
by talkingtoaretard / 01/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Duplighost / 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids
- Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging… Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she… Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted…