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zyme

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zyme
  • Town/Country : Tampa, FL, USA, USA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1984 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 831
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.

zyme's last visitors

dead_insectsdoubledutchysleepRXkay2810RedPillSucks

zyme's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zyme's badges

zyme's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13703) - you deserved it (2158)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (4403)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

#19348653
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19532) - you deserved it (2529)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (1729)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (2429)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (4384)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

#19323093
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (2138)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8163) - you deserved it (45148)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (1954)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14813) - you deserved it (3332)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

#19312594
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4523) - you deserved it (6001)

On 03/20/2012 at 5:47am - misc - by treehugger - Singapore

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

#19299263
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6195) - you deserved it (28951)

On 03/18/2012 at 7:41am - love - by Austin Franklin - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

#19285505
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (3214)

On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (2183)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (1437)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)



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