About zyme : Prior Service USAF/SSgt with 9 years in; originally from NY.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (3351)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42575) - you deserved it (3345)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19286) - you deserved it (5055)
On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24669) - you deserved it (4375)
On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16384) - you deserved it (897)
On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (3314)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (1617)
On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17706) - you deserved it (2317)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17262) - you deserved it (1123)
On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14072) - you deserved it (17483)
On 11/14/2012 at 6:39am - misc - by hclagopus (man) - Norway
Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (2349)
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (2539)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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