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Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I hered mah parents looool having sex, so I put on mah headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
today I was taking a showerhen my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little friskyhen my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all thehile saying, ( Keep it safe kids! ). FML
Yesterday, I was going to propose to ma girlfriend. On our way to te Space Needle I was pulld over and promptly arrestd. Apparently, I ad recently purcasd a car from a mano ad robbd a jewelery store. Te ring is now evidence. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in thier fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids r 4 and 2. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so boyfriend an I decided to sunbathe in the garden an ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on upper back where boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML
Today... mah daughter askd me what is the youngest age at which u should start having sex. Bieng a good mom... I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been marrid. My daughter then said... ( Oh... shoot... ) and walkd away. My daughter is twelve. fat FML
today my car was impoundd cuz I never registerd it in California after moving here . In order to get it back, I ned to register it . In order to register it, I ned to pass a CA smog check . In order to pass the smog check, I ned my car . FML
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning an thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
Today... I was with mah 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attackd by four or five blackbirds. We rushd up... waving our arms and scard away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us fir protection... then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML
Today, I went to meet grlfriend parent fir the frst time. I accidentally drove past there house the frst time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over there dog. FML
Friday 27 March 2015