zaise_chsa

Search for a member

Online

zaise_chsa

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3245
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

zaise_chsa's page activity

Visits<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 11:59pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:10pm<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 5:14am<b>matt_smith_702</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:47pm<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:49pm<b>RobertTheSPOOK</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:20pm<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 12:22pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 7:51am<b>savannah12345677</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:11am<b>pengyvan</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>_jack117_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:16pm<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:55am<b>raven83</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:56am<b>Reececomau</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:23pm<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:11am<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:52am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:25am<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:55pm

Fucked!<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:11pm

zaise_chsa's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zaise_chsa's badges

zaise_chsa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

by RitaDahhlinnnng / 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

by damnit / 08/25/2009 at 2:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

by stagedivefail / 08/19/2009 at 10:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

by Amara1717 / 08/19/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

by seeminglyunsexy / 08/14/2009 at 11:53am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML

by kmf / 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

by t0pher / 08/10/2009 at 10:52am / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

by SoniaLovesYou / 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

by deflated / 08/09/2009 at 12:54pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

by gtrs750 / 08/09/2009 at 9:48am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2009 at 9:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

by sandwichsex / 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

by Cowan / 08/06/2009 at 8:27am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous