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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (7585)
On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11338) - you deserved it (45768)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7071) - you deserved it (40963)
On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56897) - you deserved it (2469)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41301) - you deserved it (5664)
On 08/14/2009 at 11:53am - intimacy - by seeminglyunsexy (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (9473)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by kmf - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45034) - you deserved it (2757)
On 08/10/2009 at 10:52am - health - by t0pher (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56372) - you deserved it (26216)
On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10644) - you deserved it (41166)
Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81984) - you deserved it (6021)
On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52390) - you deserved it (2848)
On 08/09/2009 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35901) - you deserved it (8531)
On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54119) - you deserved it (6077)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15860) - you deserved it (83429)
On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78730) - you deserved it (18475)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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