zaise_chsa

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zaise_chsa

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3224
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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zaise_chsa's page activity

Visits<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 11:59pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:10pm<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 5:14am<b>matt_smith_702</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:47pm<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:49pm<b>RobertTheSPOOK</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:20pm<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 12:22pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 7:51am<b>savannah12345677</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:11am<b>pengyvan</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>_jack117_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:16pm<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:55am<b>raven83</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:56am<b>Reececomau</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:23pm<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:11am<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:52am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:25am<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:55pm

Fucked!<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:11pm

zaise_chsa's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zaise_chsa's badges

zaise_chsa's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 12:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

by ab / 10/09/2011 at 1:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 3:01am / Mexico (Morelos) / Intimacy

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

by fmylife / 08/26/2010 at 6:09am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

by Face / 01/09/2010 at 5:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML

by Xia / 10/18/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML

by hairdresser / 10/18/2009 at 11:27am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Kids