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zaise_chsa

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 11:57pm) | Search for a member

zaise_chsa

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1690
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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zaise_chsa's page activity

Visits<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:55pm<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 6:08am<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:17am<b>ineedagooduser</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:27pm<b>tangerine06</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:02am<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:46pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:09pm<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 6:05am<b>JoeHallenbeck</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>mzweier</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:41pm<b>EMT3713</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:28pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:37pm<b>KeannaLove</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:11pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:28pm<b>albinoturk</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 7:03am<b>masoko</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 5:00pm<b>mario2012</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Beansforbill</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:18am

zaise_chsa's FML badges

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zaise_chsa's favorite FMLs

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10255) - you deserved it (38428)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (8982)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32087) - you deserved it (6166)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49149) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

#17940087
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29736) - you deserved it (2183)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:11am - work - by ab (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41368) - you deserved it (17435)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9057) - you deserved it (58919)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8007) - you deserved it (61497)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12198) - you deserved it (30404)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58973) - you deserved it (3602)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML

#5878070
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26715) - you deserved it (14031)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by Xia (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML

#5877421
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43277) - you deserved it (4622)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by hairdresser (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

#5860815
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (7939)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:18am - work - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47660) - you deserved it (3867)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)



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