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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (2454)
On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (4908)
On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (26115)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (6505)
On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (4546)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (4167)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23819) - you deserved it (1557)
On 10/09/2011 at 1:11am - work - by ab (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35505) - you deserved it (15864)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6813) - you deserved it (45215)
On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)
Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6244) - you deserved it (45919)
On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (22163)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50304) - you deserved it (2659)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (10314)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by Xia (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36444) - you deserved it (3584)
On 10/18/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by hairdresser (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19110) - you deserved it (7130)
On 10/17/2009 at 1:18am - work - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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