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yarani

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yarani
  • Town/Country : Portugal
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 782
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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yarani's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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yarani's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (4507)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (37897)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (4698)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (20628)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10117) - you deserved it (28627)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (6919)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

#18566485
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22949) - you deserved it (3365)

On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (5164)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11915) - you deserved it (39013)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10935) - you deserved it (54101)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12168) - you deserved it (32295)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29151) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I realized the closest I've ever been to being hit on was with a car in the school parking lot. Even then, the guy claimed he "didn't notice" me. FML

#17983991
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21506) - you deserved it (2488)

On 10/14/2011 at 6:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

#17977433
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (10168)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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