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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (1912)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16149) - you deserved it (28385)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23860) - you deserved it (3701)
On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (20214)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9454) - you deserved it (22883)
On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20354) - you deserved it (6839)
On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (2633)
On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (4086)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (30027)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (42217)
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10273) - you deserved it (24364)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37630) - you deserved it (3807)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (7731)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9989) - you deserved it (17954)
On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia
Monday 20 May 2013
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