Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xEmGai

Search for a member

xEmGai
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canadaa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 June 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 8917
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xEmGai : Miss HUYNH
Female
16 Candles
FLHS 11'
Msn/Facebook

xEmGai's last visitors

JoelsLastNightdudecalltubaman213aa1717FreezeKarameloBuMbLeBeE_46Zebrasofa13

xEmGai's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xEmGai's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11529) - you deserved it (123373)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

#642642
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13576) - you deserved it (66899)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12497) - you deserved it (153212)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then proceded to joke about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15246) - you deserved it (104776)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9427) - you deserved it (103124)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (112039)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML

#569324
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (70923)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

#555809
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12458) - you deserved it (83717)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

#551399
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11687) - you deserved it (114057)

On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
331 comments

Today, I was cutting a bagel, only to slice the back of my hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML

#531777
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (74361)

On 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm - health - by IHateBagels (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
860 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (599034)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (99384)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: