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Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49775) - you deserved it (17157)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickleing my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45416) - you deserved it (5294)
On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97821) - you deserved it (8098)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10515) - you deserved it (56312)
On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83527) - you deserved it (3660)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67220) - you deserved it (7604)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66615) - you deserved it (9479)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12065) - you deserved it (71427)
On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76863) - you deserved it (206233)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107333) - you deserved it (5383)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (200990)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60524) - you deserved it (8249)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56310) - you deserved it (22823)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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