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whiteblackman

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whiteblackman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1006
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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whiteblackman's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:59pm<b>skyregit</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 1:42pm

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whiteblackman's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

#6245965
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (3528)

On 11/10/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

#6157147
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29133) - you deserved it (7722)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by raebay (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML

#6118488
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (2807)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by parched (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

#6114528
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:47am - health - by theRoomie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

#6089701
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (2675)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

#6069034
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25021) - you deserved it (9758)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39967) - you deserved it (8093)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML

#5888357
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39863) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by NUsConstantine (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

#5887611
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (7833)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42027) - you deserved it (4450)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42016) - you deserved it (3029)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

#5716495
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13239) - you deserved it (37740)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:14am - kids - by stupidsantaclaus (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML

#5715718
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (7319)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50075) - you deserved it (7240)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57858) - you deserved it (21646)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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