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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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whiteblackman

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whiteblackman
  • Town/Country : Turlock, CA, United Sates
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 April 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 460
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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whiteblackman's favorite FMLs

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

#8705777 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML

#8698914 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (5825) - you deserved it (17236)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

#8691974 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (17080) - you deserved it (4530)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML

#8248390 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (5856) - you deserved it (27582)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615 (628)

I agree, your life sucks (35463) - you deserved it (28279)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

#7789192 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (23892)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

#7775302 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (3074)

On 02/01/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by argh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (22206) - you deserved it (6185)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (49539) - you deserved it (4513)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (2208)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (16064) - you deserved it (3468)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

#7461664 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (5363) - you deserved it (21006)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

#7456887 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (3467) - you deserved it (19720)

On 01/20/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by Shoeless (woman) - United States

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

#7453526 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (16113) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:47am - misc - by hatesmellyfeet (man) - United States (California)