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watergard

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watergard

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  • Number of visits : 450
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (36747)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

#6245965
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/10/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

#6145601
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (5006)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

#5927953
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32052) - you deserved it (6558)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6872) - you deserved it (148351)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74854) - you deserved it (5492)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74854) - you deserved it (5492)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54589) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

#4105054
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (71677)

On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

#4066807
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51868) - you deserved it (11907)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML

#4025974
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48097) - you deserved it (8177)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:55am - kids - by Kimberly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46048) - you deserved it (4924)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40641) - you deserved it (9050)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)



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