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watergard

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watergard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 345
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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watergard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (8104)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13261) - you deserved it (58281)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

#16017618
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (3838)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

#15835287
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (3689)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States

Today, after a huge heartbreak and a night of crying, I wake up to an empty house. I go in the kitchen to make breakfast and see a note on the counter saying "We heard you crying last night and didn't want to hear you complaining this morning, so we went to the mall. -Mom" FML

#14895293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (7450)

On 02/08/2011 at 12:21pm - love - by heartbroken - United States

Today, my parents confiscated my iPod, because the parents' group they go to came to the conclusion that music is a gateway to anti-social behavior. FML

#14674940
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25649) - you deserved it (1761)

On 01/22/2011 at 3:20pm - misc - by ihatemyparents (man) - United States (California)

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

#14596121
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40852) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20378) - you deserved it (4435)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

#14160788
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Indonesia

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

#13874873
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (7224)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

#13734047
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (13056)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:18am - kids - by Username - France

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

#13585816
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (5768)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:42am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8043) - you deserved it (35199)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (6670)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28831) - you deserved it (26808)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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