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watergard

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watergard

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  • Number of visits : 411
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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watergard's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

#17451682
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12177) - you deserved it (28339)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by ThisGuy97 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML

#17329183
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26512) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:07am - misc - by tired (woman) - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (3650)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

#17300060
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (2596)

On 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm - misc - by Username - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

#17253464
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm - money - by tim12345 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

#17167728
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33407) - you deserved it (11347)

On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

#17066979
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (2550)

On 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by BMike - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52752) - you deserved it (10527)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML

#16997408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (10502)

On 07/06/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by Emily - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79058) - you deserved it (6513)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (14227)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

#16661874
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54739) - you deserved it (4693)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm - love - by hatelife - United States (Ohio)

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42194) - you deserved it (14175)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (7024)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML

#16384217
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37562) - you deserved it (2859)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by mperh - United States



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