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watergard

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watergard

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  • Number of visits : 607
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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watergard's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (12209)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

#18812906
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20384) - you deserved it (6120)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:53am - misc - by footbloodfountain - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31900) - you deserved it (3394)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

#18736387
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31661) - you deserved it (3565)

On 01/07/2012 at 2:47pm - love - by Forever Alone x2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35230) - you deserved it (2976)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

#18563355
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (4938)

On 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm - love - by tommy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42678) - you deserved it (5103)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

#18460733
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21259) - you deserved it (29174)

On 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm - misc - by picklemonger - Canada

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
98 comments

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

#18397332
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (24222)

On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52732) - you deserved it (4884)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

#17965886
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (5092)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by ItaliczZz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12746) - you deserved it (39746)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (4460)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (2781)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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