About waffule365 : Long descriptions suck soo ummm I like music especially Nirvana, if you want to know just ask but I probably won't respond on here so use kik my username is Waffule. Hit me up.
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waffule365's favorite FMLs
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
by useless pos / 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML
by Fox / 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm / United States / Transportation
by pissed girlfriend / 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML
by gilbirds / 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health
by Mattrd / 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by jdrew32 / 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Intimacy
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
by guessnot / 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
by papersofdivorce / 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm / Peru (Lima) / Love
- Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform… Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up… Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in…
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me…