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twilight_lupus

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  • Number of visits : 3038
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twilight_lupus's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

#17026908
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10174) - you deserved it (51663)

On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33731) - you deserved it (2687)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (3275)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

#16921671
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15654) - you deserved it (30165)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

#16921671
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15654) - you deserved it (30165)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (4809)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

#16822119
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27523) - you deserved it (6675)

On 06/23/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by CallMeJesusFreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48527) - you deserved it (3410)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

#16787044
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

#16778449
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (2997)

On 06/21/2011 at 8:25am - love - by nasty_ex - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the girl I've been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said "We're just friends, right? My mom thinks I'm leading you on." FML

#16774527
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48542) - you deserved it (4350)

On 06/21/2011 at 1:07am - love - by played (man) - Norway

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37039) - you deserved it (11852)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

#16771812
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34604) - you deserved it (2808)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm - love - by minnEmouse (woman) - United States

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44254) - you deserved it (8379)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33552) - you deserved it (3888)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)



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