Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

twilight_lupus

Offline (13 minutes ago) | Search for a member

twilight_lupus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3224
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

twilight_lupus's page activity

Visits<b>Donutsarelife</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:51am<b>Greathoudini</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:53am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:08pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:57am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:26pm<b>RJ1998</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 6:34am<b>sarbear11753</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 1:31am

twilight_lupus's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of twilight_lupus's badges

twilight_lupus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32529) - you deserved it (1959)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

#17920889
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38722) - you deserved it (6144)

On 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

#17908594
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44688) - you deserved it (6825)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:16am - love - by myBFsucks - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

#17896857
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (30034)

On 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandparents came to visit. So far, they have called me fat, bragged about how my cousin is better than me, and told me how I'm not good enough for them. It's okay, though, they gave me a pretzel from the airline and a textbook on physics. In another language. FML

#17850001
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (2059)

On 09/27/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by FlyingWhisps (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

#17845036
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (5166)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:14am - health - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

#17838179
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36314) - you deserved it (2572)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:01am - love - by xOdaatx - Australia

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (6086)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (4366)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

#17809445
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (5382)

On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

#17794305
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (8446)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (3612)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

#17734062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (3154)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36792) - you deserved it (4484)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML

#17685983
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8218) - you deserved it (40303)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:05am - work - by sad - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: