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twilight_lupus's favorite FMLs
by exiledliscense / 11/09/2011 at 2:18pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML
by jodafish / 11/08/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 2:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy
by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by SpikeStanley / 10/20/2011 at 2:56am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML
by Missy / 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by cupcake_butt / 10/17/2011 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
by pokeballbra / 10/17/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend rekindled the romance with his ex, at my 21st birthday party. One of the few reasons I'd invited her was to show that I trusted him, and I no longer felt threatened by their continued friendship. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 10/11/2011 at 10:22am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML
by poopooppachuu / 10/11/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML
by chocolateisyum / 10/09/2011 at 7:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML
by ab / 10/09/2011 at 1:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
- Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the… Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We… Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from…