twilight_lupus

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Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 6:15am)

twilight_lupus

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6244
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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twilight_lupus's page activity

Visits<b>josh503257</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 10:41pm<b>ashantaenelson</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:30pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:57am<b>FreshDonuts</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:25pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:49pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:47am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:50am<b>Donutsarelife</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:51am<b>Greathoudini</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:53am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:08pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:57am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:26pm<b>RJ1998</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 6:34am<b>sarbear11753</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 1:31am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:34am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:03am

twilight_lupus's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of twilight_lupus's badges

twilight_lupus's favorite FMLs

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

by sometingwong / 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

by wow / 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

by Andrew / 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

by Faithful / 11/24/2011 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

by disciplinaryaction / 11/21/2011 at 2:02am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

by brokeandalone / 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

by nyatzz / 11/16/2011 at 1:32am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

by SetoAyumi / 11/15/2011 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous