Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

twilight_lupus

Offline (22 minutes ago) | Search for a member

twilight_lupus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3143
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

twilight_lupus's page activity

Visits<b>Greathoudini</b> - 2 hours ago<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:08pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:57am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:26pm<b>RJ1998</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 6:34am<b>sarbear11753</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 1:31am

twilight_lupus's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of twilight_lupus's badges

twilight_lupus's favorite FMLs

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53434) - you deserved it (2970)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34919) - you deserved it (5302)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

#18388917
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5707) - you deserved it (64648)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42545) - you deserved it (4943)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

#18369717
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28066) - you deserved it (1669)

On 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by wow - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66512) - you deserved it (3223)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (2382)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

#18338380
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12198) - you deserved it (46830)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44971) - you deserved it (7012)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

#18304888
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (2907)

On 11/21/2011 at 2:02am - work - by disciplinaryaction (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44586) - you deserved it (3461)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
599 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43172) - you deserved it (11356)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

#18261463
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (2439)

On 11/16/2011 at 1:32am - work - by nyatzz - United States (Florida)

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

#18253335
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31526) - you deserved it (2929)

On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: