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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36671) - you deserved it (3436)
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55327) - you deserved it (2251)
On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (1903)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35541) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (4795)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:20am - intimacy - by gtfoocd (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45049) - you deserved it (2295)
On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States
Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19766) - you deserved it (2234)
On 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm - work - by thathottchickk - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16671) - you deserved it (2262)
On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (30023)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (3463)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (49130)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (1568)
On 12/05/2011 at 5:30pm - money - by Poor Student - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (26520)
On 12/05/2011 at 2:22am - intimacy - by LucklessNiceGuy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47426) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45072) - you deserved it (2146)
On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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