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twilight_lupus's FML badges
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twilight_lupus's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Geek
by nokitchenforme / 12/03/2010 at 12:18am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 10:16am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML
by brandiboobarry / 11/29/2010 at 1:01am / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
by loving grandaughter / 11/27/2010 at 6:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 12:11pm / Belgium (Brabant) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 7:56pm / United States / Love
Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML
by everythingWASperfect / 11/13/2010 at 9:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML
by robbyrabbit / 11/11/2010 at 2:41am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML
by crazyparents / 11/10/2010 at 2:12am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:45am / Brunei Darussalam / Love