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twilight_lupus's favorite FMLs
Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2011 at 10:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by mmaisie / 02/01/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/31/2011 at 12:35pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML
by gotnogame / 01/30/2011 at 10:13pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
by biscuit / 01/07/2011 at 12:46am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, the grades for one of my courses were released. The class average was higher than that which the department allowed, so the professor had to scale everyone's marks down to meet the policy. I ended up failing because my class was too smart. FML
by dumb4$$0rz / 12/23/2010 at 4:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got fired from my job. My manager found Facebook pictures of me drinking underage at a party. He said he didn't want "that kind of image" associated with the business. It was his birthday party. He supplied the booze. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 5:04am / United States / Work
by stupid / 12/21/2010 at 10:21am / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous
by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
by anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 6:23am / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, after playing on the same basketball team for eight years with the same coach, he kicked me off the team to make room for my younger brother, who I taught to play basketball in the first place. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Geek
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…