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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45675) - you deserved it (3106)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52816) - you deserved it (3098)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States
Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42389) - you deserved it (7969)
On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55002) - you deserved it (4863)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35758) - you deserved it (2094)
On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46673) - you deserved it (2733)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37044) - you deserved it (7696)
On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47678) - you deserved it (2973)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48809) - you deserved it (6609)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (11645) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France
Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41924) - you deserved it (12193)
On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (11435)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29753) - you deserved it (5480)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34851) - you deserved it (5494)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (247472)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Friday 24 May 2013
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